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Law of Conservation of Ass: Fatter cannot be created or destroyed.My Plastic Surgeon: Well, actually…Mr. Crude: But, it can be penetrated.
“A little help with my shorts, old man? I think they’re stuck.”“Do you want them up, or off?” asked Mr. Crude.“Better take them off so I don’t get trapped in them.”“I wouldn’t want that!”
“Okay, okay… you caught me! What’s a horny girl to do when her fuck buddy doesn’t arrive as soon as expected?”“Is that what I am? A fuck buddy?” asked Mr. Crude.“Oh, goodness no! You’re much more
“So, what kind of pet am I supposed to be?”“You’d better be an obedient one!”“That goes without saying. What I meant was, am I supposed to be a puppy, a kitten, or what?”“Yes.”
“Would I pass for one of your students, Mr. Crude?”“Maybe. Answer me this… are you willing to do anything to improve your grade?” he asked.“Almost anything. I assume you mean sex, right?”“Yes, that’s
“Meow?”
“So, uhhh, have you got something better than this thumb for me to suck on?”
“You can do whatever you want… as long as you don’t mess up the hair.”
“Go on, it’s okay. I know you want to slide it in between them. To be perfectly honest, I want you to do it, too.”
“All dressed up and nowhere to hoe.”
“I seem to have had an accident while touching up my roots, but I kind of like it.”
“I’m digging this new super turbo fan. Talk about having a wind-blown look!”
“Okay, be honest. Does this make my ass look fat, or fuckable? Or both fat and fuckable?”
“There’s a skank in my boots!”
“I’m ready when you are!”
No shirt, no shoes… no service.
“Hi-eee! Come and get it!”
“I don’t want to hear a single word about the pearl necklace on my ass. Not a word.”
“Die Brüste! Die Stiefel!”
“These things are getting heavy! Want to help hold ‘em up?”
“Oops! Looks like the strap snapped. I guess this thing is coming off.”
“I may have had a slight problem with my hair dye. Can you tell?”
The imagery of the cropped sweater is a metaphor depicting the indecisive nature of the artist and volatility of life; intended to leave the viewer with the philosophical question:“Bitch, are you hot or cold?”
“Hey! I fixed the strap on my bra. Want to see if you can break it?”
“Why yes, I am a little bit horny.”
Nap time!
goodtimes19:Come to the dark side… we have cookies… Yum! Cookies!
“Your glass of ice water was like that when I got here. Honest! Weird, huh?”
Shower time!
“Brutus coming through for the one guy who comments ‘show us you butthole’ under every single photo I post!”
“Okay, everybody… time to buckle up!”
“Hey, big boy! Is that for me?”
Daily affirmations: You is kind, you is smart, you is going to do something about that pile of clothes today for sure!
Booty!
“I think, therefore I am sleepy.”
“You’ll never guess what’s under my dress. Okay, maybe you will.”
“Wash my back and I’ll wash yours.”
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“Would you help me get the sand off, please?”
“What? Why can’t I wear this in public?”
“Silly me. Forgot to get completely undressed for my shower.”
“Booty!”
“What do you mean, ‘they’re too short?’ Don’t you want to show off your girl?”
Trying to do my part to simmer down the potential WWIII situation with a humble butt pic offering.You’re not you when you’re horny, @russia, please rethink this!#GiveNieceAChance
“I’m a good girl.”
“That’s all you get unless you promise to fuck me.”
“Hmmm… sexy enough for Mr. Crude?”
“Sorry… I’m just not feeling all that sexy right now.”
“Gotta get out of these restrictive clothes.”
“May I get out of this now?”
“Just sitting at home alone, wishing you were here.”
“If I spread my legs open a little more, you should be able to do it.”
“You untie my top. I’ll pull down my bottom.”
“Do I look good enough to take home to meet your mother?”
“I hope you’re not upset with me, but I decided not to put on any makeup today. This is the real me.”
“Well… don’t just stand there.”
“If indoor bikini pics are stupid then why does the term ‘couch surfing’ exist?”
“Oh, that feels good, but it’d be much better if you were doing it!”
