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We told our spouses we needed to go shopping for some food for the house we all rented together during our vacation. In stead we went off and had some fun together
“You don’t need to be a fireplace to get a golden shower from me.”
“You don’t need to hide a blade in my belt in order to penetrate me.”
“You don’t need to use your mind palace to see me in a straight jacket.”
“I would propose to you even if I didn’t need to break into your boss’s office.”
“You don’t need to decipher passenger jet seat allocations in order to get a kiss from me.â€
“You don’t need to be a vicar with a bleeding face in order to see me naked.â€
“You don’t need to make me inhale Project H.O.U.N.D. fog in order to take my breath away.â€
“If you’d like, I can ensure that you’ll never need to borrow John’s laptop again.â€
“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.â€
clementine-kesh:clementine-kesh:every time i’m about to get annoyed at bad science in media i just think about that one xkcd comic and calm down a littlethis is the most real image ever i need to frame it and put it on my desk to keep myself humble
apolojizzing: officialteacher: apolojizzing: I need to go to the bath room you should have gone during lunch do not
4chan users plan to trigger trans suicides
shirefulscarves: allthewaytoneverland: dorothy-cotton: If you’re ever in britain, when you walk the dog it’s called “Dogging” So if you’re going to walk your dog be sure to ask all of your british friends if they’d like to come dogging
unofficiallydisney: unofficiallydisney: unofficiallydisney: Okay guys, this is officially my “Get My Phone Turned Back On Fund”. I’m gonna have enough this month to make rent, but now I need to make 240 bucks to turn my phone back on. I’m trying
ringleader-of-the-tormentors: itsrickyl: diaz-devan: thenatsdorf: Perfect early Christmas present. I can’t wait to do this This is so special That boy is so sweet awe he can’t stop crying Reblogging because this boy was given space to be emotional
protip, if you’re anxious about talking on the phone and NEED to make a phone call, I like to type out what I want to say in notepad or whatever and then just read it off during the phone call. makes things easier
This is possibly my favourite ever selfie as i didn’t mean for the strawberry tart to be in the shot but it manages to sum up my whole existence: vaguely pensive/annoyed, but always in proximity to cake. In other news i am incredibly tired as i
yuukoatheart:I: Ahh… I’ve forgotten everything else, but I feel like I’ve seen your face before… To feel so at ease just from you holding me… Surely you were really close to me.S: You don’t need to remember the past. Forget everything, including
when you become accustomed to staying out for like 48 hours straight and not getting even a little sleep and can fully function the entire time is something i shouldnt be proud of but kinda am like i used to never be able to stay up all night i like my
this is so my life. i am better off dead. without anyone by my side. i destroy things. everything. everyone. i make them change. when its me who needs to be changed. or just even dead.
suprchnk: being a “person of color” is not a black pass like a lot of people seem to think it is. y’all will get fucked up just like white folk will for trying to be “down.” there’s some shit that just isn’t for you and you need to accept
i couldn’t be more disgusted with him. when he came to school today, i think he was drunk. he’s been coming to school drunk every freaking day the past week. what the hell. we are freaking sophomores!! he used to be a nice and sweet and smart
camdamage: a reminder: you don’t need to check “their” blog it won’t help you at all to see. you’re going looking for something to get upset over, and that’s dumb. it doesn’t matter what they’re doing, it doesn’t effect you now.
icantdrawbutdontcare: You’re supposed to stop before you are at your wits’ end. You need to know your limits. [Green, black and red text that reads: Doing your best does not mean working yourself to a mental breakdown]
spicy-vagina-tacos:spicy-vagina-tacos: heres to my size 3-8 girls. heres to my slightly squishy ladies who, whenever they have shown the slightest discomfort in their bodies, have been shut down immediately because “i would kill to have a body like
im supposed to be sleeping, someone yell at me to go to bed and stop creeping through my followers blogs
pettyrevenge: I gave my girlfriend my Netflix password while we were dating, and asked her nicely not to use it after we broke up. She continued to use it, so I waited until she was 2 seasons into Pretty Little Liars to change the password.
I’m so looking forward to dressing up as smoking, drinking, pregnant lady for the Halloween costume contest tonight. I need to blow off some steam and perhaps start taking drugs that will dull me from this reality. I fucking hate my manager, stupid
yo real talk tumblr user brklynbreed is so attractive to me see people like that do not live around here I need to move my ass to fuckin new york like right now
bikram doesn’t like green and I wouldn’t be allowed to wear a bandeau to class! there go basically all of my yoga outfits! I am determined to up my yogini game and become a master of my practice and continuously improve I can do this
so im still doing really bad health wise and its starting to get scary, im still bleeding a lot but my dad is just yelling at my mom and refusing to take me to the doctor or hospital or anything plus we’re broke lays down here
princessharumi: I really wanted to do some gushy Amedot comic where Peridot broke her visor in an accident and she doesn’t quite know how to reform it back. Then sappy things ensue ♡ I really like when Peridot flirts :3c Also thank you to everyone
how do i go back in time and tell my 12 year old self to enjoy her last year of being pre-menstrual because right now i want to slap that little girl for ever WANTING to get her period dumb bitch i swear
thewittyarsonist: lobstronomousskeleton:ek-24z:Well, the Author’s name does indeed seem to be Stanley - time to update TVTropes.YOOOOOOOOOOO WE FUCKING CALLED IT NoBill has made deals with the authorBut STANLEY has made mistakes without his helpStanley
Oh need to remember to go to the church congratulation tomorrow and vote for less political influence in the church
I had forgotten just how much it hurts me to like.. see cute people have fun together being on their way to or from something somewhere all dressed cute and well and seemingly full of joy
Ugh dani come hug me I need to get the fustration out with hugs
arachnocomrnunism: pearl-apologism: nagisakaworu: pearl has been shown to be a responsible and law abiding driver. do you think she’s licensed? do you think pearl went to the dmv to get her drivers license? i mean if she’s intent on obeying traffic
klancerous: elimnebe: jen-iii: To anyone who went to SDCC and tried out Hunk’s food goo: what was it?? Like what was it made of?? Was it icecream or like jello or something?? This has been plaguing me all day I need to know omfg It was good, gooey
anyway since apparently this FB page (that I don’t even know where it is) is receiving a lot a rude messages and extreme hate involving death threats and stuff, stop sending them, there’s no need to go that far;; (I’m assuming somebody
i got a tripod so i can take pics with my phone without having to hang on to it and i took some of the most nice photos of myself with the dogs outside and no im not posting them. :)
2ndhalfoflife: phillypu: Sometimes you just have to recharge. —- It’s not that I don’t want to be with friends and chill. I love doing that! But sometimes I just need to have some alone time too! an Introvert Infographic
yourcooch: housewifeswag: ohmyyyyy. take that pussy to church. did they really need to show him putting on lip chap? that shit’s not cute. They did.
linkerbell: Part 2 - Part 1 I give a virtual cookie to all who guessed chicken. You could say Sapph tends to have a ‘go big or go home’ kind of mindset and Benitoite aint gonna have it. I’ve been itching to draw my two gemonas together, and what
Aaaaaaaand this is why I didn’t tell you what I was coloring~ (certified-kindergartner)*points to wife**points to art**points to wife again*hhhHHHhhhHHHHHHH
drawbauchery: I made a better one. (agnosticdruid) look man, i’m not here to kinkshame. if you wanna ship this, i can’t stop you. he’s a bunch of lines on a computer screen and he wants to fuck a mountain stop being fake wokei also literally
stay-strong-beautiful-girl: This is absolutely terrifying. Just look at it, it is so real and astonishing. You need to reblog this. I don’t care if you’re used to reblogging orange, teenage girls with vans on. I don’t care if you’re used to
there needs to be an extension for my chrome where it like slaps me if i try to listen to “kokoro” or maybe a voice appears when i hover over the link that says “you really don’t wanna do that” ;-;
bonpyro: I was going to make them both Slytherin.I was seriously going to make them both Slytherin. All this before I remembered the classic Romeo&Juliet archetype that made this pairing so dynamically rich. (I know everyone will not agree on this
this mono scene has been replaying in my head for the past couple of days where for some reason or another, blake feels some stupid duty that she needs to stop adam and the white fang on her own and tries to silently escape beacon one nightbut alas, weiss
i literally cant and will not take you seriously if you have to compliment my ship art by reaffirming your ~loyalty~ to wr/bb ?? do people just, ignore the FAQ link on my blog. should i invest in hiring tiny workers to hang up neon arrow signs on my blog
dashingicecream: im going to make a to-draw list again because last time i did i literally got it all done so here we go: m!au monosm!au ruby and yang outfitsf!corrin/a lady unityoung qrow+raventaiyang w/ baby yang and rugy
me: watches v5 scene with weiss talking privately with angry yang Weiss: talks about Blake and explains why Blake might have left and asking yang to think about blakes feelings and that she will be there for Blake when she comes backme: lays down, tear
how I wanted my tablet to get here soon, why the shipping has to take so much time D:
Had been meaning to make her spit fire ever since @rainbowhooded introduced me to the fact that it is a thing. About. A year ago. lol.
lov-ing-ly:If youre over the age of 20 and lost all your teen years to mental illness and never got to be normal, or have healthy relationships, went down the wrong path or diddnt have the right nurturing support from BOTH your parents and now you have
psy-faerie: psy-faerie: strawberry-kisu: lild0ll: “”“customers”“” need to stop thinking that sex workers can be bribed into doing services they don’t offer. if you want that service just find someone who offers it. i would not go to
thebasechakra: naked-yogi: regularjoewitharegularjob: naked-yogi: petitedeviant: naked-yogi: bertroninmotion: naked-yogi: captj7794: naked-yogi: This needing to kiss a girl thing is becoming a real issue honestly @naked-yogi life is to short
wildly-unpopular: onlinepunk: onlinepunk: Some of you need to learn the difference between skinny girls being made to feel insecure about their body from certain people and fat girls being made to feel like their entire life is worthless because of
![icantdrawbutdontcare: You’re supposed to stop before you are at your wits’ end. You need to know your limits. [Green, black and red text that reads: Doing your best does not mean working yourself to a mental breakdown]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b39f29f454e0b8a8184989709460d494/tumblr_odajjrdTso1tq2ksdo1_250.jpg)
