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“Is this Reichenbach? Because I think I’m falling for you.”

“Fuck me! I won a BAFTA!”

“If I deduced everything in your life from your alcoholic sibling to your military service, would you come home with me? Forever?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“You can see any body in this morgue. Especially mine!” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I’d fight a thousand mermaids just to be by your side.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras. Credit to geothebio for the doodle.

“I got the milk.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“It’s a drugs bust. I’ll bring the drugs; you bring the bust.”

“I would frequent cafes just to have a meeting with you.”

“Wanna know how you can recognize me by not my face?”

“I would rob Buckingham Palace just for your amusement.”

“Excuse me, but could you help me recover some missing files? I seem to have deleted boobs.”

“I’m sorry my face puts you off. Perhaps you’d prefer my dick?”

“I would rip off your clothes at a darkened swimming pool even if there wasn’t a bomb strapped to you.”

“I made you some shoes.”

“Can you please not do that thing where you turn your coat collar up to try and look cool? It makes it difficult for me to give you a hickey.”

“If I had a chin for every time I thought of you, I’d have no friends.”

“I made you coffee. Do you prefer it black or drugged?”

“Let’s talk about the birds and the Bee Gees.”

“Just give me a chance and I’ll be Reichen your bed Bach and forth all night.” Submitted by turtleplz.

“You don’t need one of those cats to get lucky tonight.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras. Based on a suggestion by deeppuddles.

“You’re gonna need a blanket when you see the size of my cock.”

“Be the Mrs. Hudson to my skull. By which I mean I want you to take me.” Submitted by deeppuddles.

“Let’s get under this blanket and give everyone a shock.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I never thought heroes existed until I met you.”

“Is that a riding crop under your coat, or are you just happy to see me?”

“You’re so hot, you’re gonna burn the heart out of me.”

“How about I smear myself with jam when we get home and let you lick it off?” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“Want to see how far down this tan really goes?” Submitted by turtleplz.

“You light up my life like a fairy.” *Make sure you use the proper, high-pitched tone of voice when saying “Like a fairy!”

“I would fake kill myself for your sake.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“Sherlock isn’t a fraud, and so isn’t my love for you.” Submitted by thecagedbirdwithasong.

“I would jump in front of a death frisbee for you, my dear.”

“You can slip your hand into my pocket anytime.”

“People who don’t find me attractive? Not my division.”

“I bet I can make your pulse increase and your pupils dilate.”

“I’d share deodorant with you even if it was for men.”

“If I broke into your home, would you have a cup of tea with me?”

“I’m hung like a Baskerville Hound.”

“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”

“Your Moves Like Jagger make me want to Stay Alive.”

“I think you just turned me straight. Let’s have dinner.”

“Sex doesn’t alarm me. Want me to prove it?”

“Playing games with you makes my brain explode. In a good way.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I don’t have to use my imagination to know that you’d be the last thing I thought of before I died.”

“Sherly– you’re my division.” Submitted by somepeaceplease.

“I fell for you like Sherlock off of Bart’s.” Submitted by turtleplz.

“Leave the wall alone. If you’re bored, I’ll gladly take a pounding from you.”

“I put the ‘wood’ in 'Westwood.’”

“Minds aren’t the only thing I’m good at fucking.”

“Hiiiii… I seem to have misplaced the key to your heart… Would you mind buzzing me in?”

“I baked you a gingerbread cookie. Sorry it’s burnt.”

“You could never repel me.”

“I’d like to occupy a ‘minor’ position in your bedroom.”

“I have cake in both hands; I’ll have to use my mouth.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

“I have a special room in my mind palace just for you.” Requested by one of my real-life friends, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.

“I want to put my ‘experiment’ in your 'microwave.’” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.

“You’re the king of my mind palace.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.

The best of Mycroft Holmes, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.

The best of Greg Lestrade, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.

The best of Jim Moriarty, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.

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