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World premiere of Sherlock S3E1: The Empty Hearse in December

“Without you, my heart feels as empty as my hearse.”

“I would shave for you.”

“Want to be my crush’s look-alike?” Submitted by letsrevitup.

“You’re such a hot Guy, I would steal a motorcycle to get to you.”

“I would endure six months of bristly kisses to be with you.”

“I like you more than Howard Shilcott likes trains.”

“Care to be my goldfish?”

“I’ll let you kiss me if you crash through a window and ruffle your hair first.”

“Hey, I faked my death too… When do I get to crash through a window and make out with you?”

“You make a really hot Guy, and I’m not just talking about the Fawkes effigy.”

“I want you to fill my ‘Empty Hearse.’” Submitted by jadziabear.

“Sherlock and Moriarty aren’t the only ones I have a theory about.”

“I don’t care how you fell in love with me… I want to know why.”

“My left hat bobble isn’t the only thing I’d like to chew on.”

“I learned Serbian in a couple hours. Want to see how quickly I can get to know your tongue?”

“Are you 051113? Because you just blew me away.”

“I’m sorry I came back from the dead with a French accent. Next time I tell you big news I’ll give you something else French.”

“I don’t think we should wear hats… unless you mean the other kind of hat.”

“Are you London? Because I want to get to know you and breathe in every quiver of your beating heart.”

“Maybe I won’t shave for Sherlock, but I’d definitely shave for you.” Submitted by anonymous.

“Those things’ll kill you… I know what you should put in your mouth instead.”

“I would jump out of a cake for you even if I wasn’t revealing that I faked my death.”

“I still love you even though your mustache doesn’t rub off.”

“Let’s throw a dummy off a roof, fake our deaths, and make out.”

“My love for you is #NotDead.” (Credit to shockingblankets for the hashtag, which LATER BECAME CANON.)

“You give me life, and not just because Lazarus is go.”

“I would never tell you to f-cough.”

“I would disguise myself as a French waiter to stop you from proposing to someone else.”

“Is there a ball under my armpit, or did you just make my heart stop?”

“I’ll be your goldfish if you’ll be my division.”

“We think you’re smoking, and that’s not just because we pulled you out of a bonfire.”

The best of The Empty Hearse, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.

“My mustache isn’t the only thing I’d shave for you.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).

“Why bother telling me what I should put on a t-shirt? It’s just going to end up on your floor in a moment anyway.”

“I calculate that there are thirteen possibilities once I invite you into my bedroom.”

“Are you a train car in Sumatra? Because you are the bomb.”

“If I had only a minute and twenty-nine seconds left to live, I’d want to spend that time with you.”

“Would you still love me even though you’re made of hair and I’m made of eyeliner?” Yup, the mustaches are their own characters here now. Because why the hell not?

“I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.”

“Being without you is worse than going to a matinee of Les Mis with my parents.”

“Why don’t you go ‘right the way down’ on me?”

“I would solve a skip code and steal a motorcycle for you.”

Happy Halloween, Tumblr! I mustache that you share your candy ;)

“I would kick my parents out if you came over.”

“My love for you isn’t like Lord Moran’s bomb– it doesn’t have an off switch.”

“Are you Mr. Summerson? Because I’d like to fondle your testicles.”

“If you be my goldfish, I promise to keep you plenty wet.”

“Why don’t you play Operation with me instead? You’ll never have to handle a broken heart.”

“Are you Anderson’s fake Jack the Ripper? Because I want to bone you.”

“So… I heard you like people who wear long coats, fling themselves through windows, and fake their deaths.”

“I hope our relationship lasts longer than John’s mustache.”

“I would date a sociopath just to make you wonder if it was serious.”

“Why have a goldfish when you can have a silver fox?”

“Forget the giant blue air mattress… Next time you fake your death, you should jump into my bed.”

wasiafooltothink: Me before watching The Empty Hearse: Me watching The Empty Hearse: Me after watching The Empty Hearse:

watsonsass: sherlockians 5 hours before the empty hearse sherlockians 2 hours before the empty hearse sherlockians 1 hour before the empty hearse sherlockians 5 minutes before the empty hearse

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