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“Can I come over? I’ll scrub your floors, if you get what I mean.”
“It’s a drugs bust. I’ll bring the drugs; you bring the bust.”
“I would frequent cafes just to have a meeting with you.”
“You’re gonna need a blanket when you see the size of my cock.”
“People who don’t find me attractive? Not my division.”
“I’d share deodorant with you even if it was for men.”
“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”
“Your Moves Like Jagger make me want to Stay Alive.”
“I put the ‘wood’ in 'Westwood.’”
“Will you join my football team and raise five children with me?”
“If there was a fire, you’d be my priority exposed.”
“Want me to make you moan like my text alert?”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“Will you be my division?”
“If you were my holiday, I wouldn’t need to fancy another one.”
“My dick is so huge, my doggy style is referred to as Baskerville Hound style.”
“Yes, I said that the laptop was in THE bedroom. No, that wasn’t a typo.”
“Shall I show you the code to my safe?”
“I won’t just be mother– I’ll be a MILF.”
“Mind if I stick my ‘umbrella’ in your 'division’?”
“Are you for men? Because I’d like to wear you… on my penis.”
“Want to see what else I keep hidden in my bra?”
“I’m not just a woman– I’m the Woman woman!”
“Shall we play doctor? Army doctor, that is.”
“I may be on a diet, but I’d still lick your ‘frosting.’”
The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“Do you like solving crimes? Because I’ve got a vacancy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Brainy’s the new sexy, but your looks are just old fashioned sexy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. I guess I’m a loser now.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I ship us like Mrs. Hudson ships Johnlock.”Based on a suggestion by amylemoymoy.
“Mary’s bullet isn’t the only thing that should have penetrated me.”Based on a suggestion by jc-cumberbatch.
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“One more miracle, for me, please… Don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“You should pop ‘round to Baker Street. Who knows? Something might jump out of my pants.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“It’s okay– you don’t have to wear makeup or a dress to compensate for the size of your mouth and breasts.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to knock over your petri dish and slip my number under it.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Don’t worry, I’m not like the cafe next door… I won’t be speedy.â€Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“I don’t do anonymous clients, but for you I’ll make an exception.â€Submitted by mercyhouse.
“Unlike my coat, I just need one of you.â€Submitted by anonymous.
“You’re more fun than a woman lying dead.â€
“I would marry you even if your proposal got interrupted by your best friend who faked his death.â€
“When I said ‘the dog one,’ I wasn’t talking about your story. I was trying to think of the sex position.â€
“It was hard choosing between the two pills… But you’ve always been my first choice.â€Submitted by thats-what-people-brew.
“I put the D in Adler.â€Submitted by estrangedgearbox.
“Graham, Gavin, Geoff… I can be whoever you want me to be.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“Anderson, face the other way. You’re making me blush.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“Oscillation on the pavement means I love you.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“It’s fine. It’s all fine when you’re around.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“I don’t have friends, just potential love interests.â€Submitted by nzeuropean.
“You make me feel more alive than Moriarty’s ringtone.â€
“My love for you is even more enormous than 1880s Mycroft.â€
“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.â€Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.
“On your knees, Professor… Don’t worry, I have something much better than kicking you over the Reichenbach Falls planned.â€
“Sitting in the Carmichaels’ greenhouse isn’t the only thing we can do together that’s murder on the knees.â€
“Are you the Carmichaels’ broken window? Because there’s only one of you.â€
“Now why don’t you stop beating that corpse and put that riding crop to good use?â€Submitted by @call-me-mrs-moriarty.
