sherlock pick-up lines
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“What are you doing? Get back into the cage I made for you!” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I don’t consult you just because I’m desperate.”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“I would leave a note at the scene of a crime I didn’t commit just to ask if you missed me.â€
“I may have addressed over forty percent of my remarks to your decanter, but what I’m really thirsty for is you.â€
“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.â€
“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.â€
“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.â€
“From a drop of water, a logician should be able to infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara, but they’re gonna need a hell of a lot more than that to infer how wet I can make you.â€
“Don’t take Moriarty’s word for it. Come see for yourself how surprisingly comfortable my bed is.â€
“Are you a drug? Because you alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.â€
“Will you be the pipe to my Holmes? I want you in my mouth.â€
“If you thought The Abominable Bride pushed you to mental and physical extremes, you should see what I can do in the bedroom.â€
“Forget morphine or cocaine. I get plenty high just off of your presence.â€
“Are you the dust on Sherlock’s mantle? Because I want to lick you.â€
“I want to be more permanently glued to you than Mycroft’s ever expanding backside is to his spot.â€
“Are you Eustace Carmichael? Because I want to be with you until five orange pips do us part.â€
“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the landing… Therefore, it wouldn’t kill you to fall for me.â€
“If you were Sherlock’s veins, I would be cocaine just so I could get inside of you.â€
“Are you Mary’s pregnancy? Because I noticed you before anyone else did.â€
“Did Holmes learn about jets from you? Because you’re pretty fly.â€
“You don’t need to put on a mustache in order to examine my body.â€
“If someone accused me of loving you, I’d be guiltier than a brother with a green ladder.â€
“I get lost in your eyes easier than other people get lost in the Carmichaels’ hedge maze.â€
“Are you from a future world? Because I want to get your telephone contraption number.â€
“If you were a Baskerville Hound, I would get drugged on purpose just to see you.â€
“I want to say ‘I love you’ to you more often than Holmes says ‘features of interest.’“
“My balls are bluer than the carbuncle Watson wrote about.â€
“Do you have a feet fetish? Because my game is afoot.â€
“Anyone could be the Abominable Bride, but only you could be my bride.â€
“You’re more important to me than finding Emelia Ricoletti’s substitute corpse.â€
“My name may be Diamond, but you’re the one who shines bright like one.â€(Yes, according to the credits, that flight attendant’s name is Diamond.)
“If you think Mycroft is enormous, just wait until you see my dick.â€
“I want my mind palace to have your details so perfect, I won’t need drugs to be immersed in them.â€
“I never understood the murderous jealousy of the one who wrote about the obliquity of the ecliptic until I saw you with another man.â€
“Are you my fridge? Because I want to stick my body parts in you.â€
“I don’t care whether your birthday video is cut or uncut, but I am curious about something else of yours.â€
“Magnussen shouldn’t be the only one who knows how you taste.â€
“I would let you in my house even if you were a reptile.â€
“No balloon could ever be a substitute for you.”
“Are you Eurus’s cell? Because I refuse to stay at least three feet away from you.”
“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”
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“You can call me Giles if I can call you mine.”
“Are you Culverton Smith? Because you take my breath away.”
“Are you one of the boys from the cafe? Because I would let you drop me… into your bed.”
“You make me even more incredibly happy than killing human beings does.”
“If you were credit, I would take you even after John published his blog.”
“I would let you give me a hug even if I didn’t need to send and delete a text on your phone.”
“We’re not like the gravestones at Musgrave Hall. Our dates will never be wrong.”
“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask you out.”
“I usually make clients sit in The Chair, but you can sit on my face if you’d prefer.”
“Mycroft is right about the list of people who love me not being long, but you’re the only one I need on it anyway.”
“I would let you look in my ‘lymph nodes’ even if I wasn’t missing my limbs.”
“My love for you is so strong, not even Sherrinford could contain it.”
“Forget the Thatcher busts. The only bust I’m interested in is yours.”
“Your ass is like Rosie’s rattle: If you keep throwing it in my face, I’ll keep grabbing it.”
“The Borgia Pearl is too boring for me, but I’d love to make you my Borgia girl.”
“The ‘sixteen by six’ in Eurus’s song is actually referring to the length and circumference of my penis.”