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“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?”

“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?”

“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.”

“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.”

“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.”

“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.”

“Can we cuddle? I promise not to squeeze as hard as the Golem.”

“Can we cuddle? I promise not to squeeze as hard as the Golem.”

“I would go back in time during our fourth season just to be able to say that I’ve loved you for centuries.”

“I would go back in time during our fourth season just to be able to say that I’ve loved you for centuries.”

“I would let Anderson write fanfiction about us.”

“I would let Anderson write fanfiction about us.”

“Sherlock must not know anything about you, because you are a star.”

“Sherlock must not know anything about you, because you are a star.”

“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.”

“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.”

“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.”

“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.”

“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.”

“I’m the perfect boyfriend: I’m very loyal, very quickly, and I’m not interested in anything your brother offers me.”

“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.”

“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.”

“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.”

“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.”

“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“My love for you is deeper than Sherlock’s voice.”

“My love for you is deeper than Sherlock’s voice.”

“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.”

“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.”

“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.”

“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.”

“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.”

“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.”

“Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you.”

“Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you.”

“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.”

“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.”

“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.”

“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.”

“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?”

“Sherlock knows more about the solar system than you do about me… Want to fix that?”

“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.”

“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.”

“Are you the cabbie’s good pill? Because I’ll happily swallow for you.”

“Are you the cabbie’s good pill? Because I’ll happily swallow for you.”

“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.”

“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.”

“I want to buy you a Christmas present that matches my lipstick.”

“I want to buy you a Christmas present that matches my lipstick.”

“People don’t really go to Heaven when they die. They’re taken to a special room and burned. When they actually go to Heaven is when they see your face.”

“People don’t really go to Heaven when they die. They’re taken to a special room and burned. When they actually go to Heaven is when they see your face.”

“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.”

“I would say sweet things to you even if I knew that bombs have off switches.”

“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I could break every bone in your body while naming them, but right now there’s only one bone of yours I’m interested in.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“I may not be a corpse, but I would let you whip me even if there wasn’t a medical point to it.”

“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.”

“Suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren’t the only ways I can spoil you.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Holmes says that the fair sex is my department. Shall I prove it?”

“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.”

“Criminal masterminds don’t really have special outfits, but I’ll make an exception for you in the bedroom.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“I would kick Moriarty over a waterfall for you.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“If Moriarty suggested that you and I elope, I would not find it impertinent or offensive.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. And meeting you was clearly my happily ever after.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

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