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“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”
“You make me so stiff, Molly mistook me for one of her cadavers.”
“I like my partners the way I like my wall decorations: Music-loving and horny.”
“Wanna see what’s Under my Shaw?” Seriously though, save Undershaw!
“Even if I was the St. Bart’s traffic cone, I wouldn’t tell you to slow down.”
“I don’t need a good coat and a short friend to look ‘tall,’ if you get what I mean.”
“You can ride me if you want. I even come with a riding crop!”
“You make me so giddy, I’m giggling even at crime scenes.”
“If you were my drug, a seven percent solution wouldn’t be enough.”
“If I had a silly-looking jumper for every time I thought of you, I’d be John Watson.”
“Forget dead pigs– want to see what I can penetrate with my other harpoon?”
“I would come to your flat even if I was on the other side of town and it could be dangerous.”
“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put your fingers.”
“When I’m retired and studying bees, will you be my honey?”
“Sometimes you don’t talk for days on end? That’s fine. I can give you something else to do with your mouth.”
“If you give me your heart, I promise I won’t put it in the fridge.”
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“I’d love to get under your sheets. Especially if you were still wearing them.”
“I’m more desperate for you than Mycroft is for tea on a train.” Inspired by a tweet from Mark Gatiss.
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, so I had to put them in the microwave.”
“If your flatmate punched you in the face, I would kiss it better.”
“I named our dog Gladstone because you make me happy and hard.”
“Shake hands with you in Hell? I’d much rather shake something else of yours.”
“I noticed you’re wearing a deerstalker. May I be your dear?”
“So, you like letting freaks into your crime scenes… How about letting a freak into your bed?”
“Will you be the Sher-key to my Sher-lock?”
“I’d let Angelo put a candle on our table.”
“No matter what, your disguise is always a self-portrait. No wonder you look sexy in anything.”
“I would disguise myself as a wounded vicar just to get invited into your home.”
“You don’t have to be a murder victim’s stillborn daughter to get me to shout your name over and over again.”
“Instead of jumping off of Bart’s, how about jumping into my bed?”
“When I tried to deduce you, the floating text turned into erotica.”
“You steeple your fingers a lot. I could give you something better to do with them.”
“If you broke into my flat for a tea party, I would let you sit in my chair.”
“On my face. Come at once, if convenient. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“I would ensure your husband’s death in Florida just to be with you.”
“I may not be strictly speaking on the drugs squad, but I’m very keen… on you.”
“Without you, my heart feels as empty as my hearse.”
“I’d smile and wink at you even if it didn’t humanize me.”
“Don’t worry, I’m no London ambulance. I take longer than eight minutes to come.”
“The shooting last week isn’t the only reason you may have to restart my heart.”
“I’ve got some pictures for you as a treat… And I’m not talking about the ones I showed Archie.”
“Becoming a figment of my mind palace isn’t the only way to get inside of me.”
“Us meeting couldn’t be coincidence. The universe is rarely so lazy.”
“I would never put the doorbell in the fridge if you were the one ringing it.”
“Without you, I get so bored that I start shooting walls.”
“Wanna see my Sher-cock?”
“You give me life, and not just because Lazarus is go.”
“I would propose to you even if I didn’t need to break into your boss’s office.”
“Is there a ball under my armpit, or did you just make my heart stop?”
“Let’s have a relationship that’s in a good place and very affirming.”
“Solving crimes isn’t the only thing I have a vacancy for.”
“I think you’re 221-beautiful.”
“Your smile shines brighter than an inexplicable matchbox.”
“You make me more speechless than John asking me to be his best man.”
“theimprobableone will use capital letters before I stop loving you.”
“If you left me, I’d do anything to get you Reichen-back.”