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original: https://jacquemousse.tumblr.com/post/89144003006

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mothwizard: me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST

mothwizard: me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST

reservationsatdorsiaxo: desperatemonkeys: feliidaesabers: veeoneeye: If I was a female, this post would just be the best. I can’t breathe I’m a dude and this belongs on my tumblr haha I still can’t get over this. So accurate its unbelievable 

reservationsatdorsiaxo: desperatemonkeys: feliidaesabers: veeoneeye: If I was a female, this post would just be the best. I can’t breathe I’m a dude and this belongs on my tumblr haha I still can’t get over this. So accurate its unbelievable 

masterofallvillainy: Technically speaking there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet and none of it is microwaveable. Therefore, there is no food in this house.

masterofallvillainy: Technically speaking there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet and none of it is microwaveable. Therefore, there is no food in this house.

Best Tumblr Text Posts

Best Tumblr Text Posts

gullets: Glow

gullets: Glow

that-flighty-temptress-adventure: sHES TOO LITTLE TO EVEN DENT THE FREAKING EMPTY FRUIT LOOPS BOX BY SLEEPING ON TOP OF IT SHE IS 1 POUND OF PURE FLUFF JESUS CHRIST MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT

that-flighty-temptress-adventure: sHES TOO LITTLE TO EVEN DENT THE FREAKING EMPTY FRUIT LOOPS BOX BY SLEEPING ON TOP OF IT SHE IS 1 POUND OF PURE FLUFF JESUS CHRIST MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT

succulentthighs: Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends 

succulentthighs: Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends 

ruinedchildhood: HERE’S MR.KRABS IN THE MIDDLE OF MORPHING INTO A KRABBY PATTY

ruinedchildhood: HERE’S MR.KRABS IN THE MIDDLE OF MORPHING INTO A KRABBY PATTY

If you be my star I'll be your sky ☪

If you be my star I'll be your sky ☪

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