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thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then

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soufflesandbowties: 50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

soufflesandbowties: 50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

fyeahmainer: nation-of-homeskillets: he knows what hes done the look in the second gif.. this is when the realization of what he said just hit him.

fyeahmainer: nation-of-homeskillets: he knows what hes done the look in the second gif.. this is when the realization of what he said just hit him.

femharringrove: I miss your musk.

femharringrove: I miss your musk.

aconitum-napellus: aspiegurl: omg its me This is my life, encapsulated by a talking parrot.

aconitum-napellus: aspiegurl: omg its me This is my life, encapsulated by a talking parrot.

dylanobriens: motherfuckingkoala: This is awkward #how the turn tables

dylanobriens: motherfuckingkoala: This is awkward #how the turn tables

fart-school-for-the-gifted: Footage from Big Hero 6

fart-school-for-the-gifted: Footage from Big Hero 6

john-egberts-floating-arms: rick-sanchez: camiekahle: THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ????? I’m fucking dying

john-egberts-floating-arms: rick-sanchez: camiekahle: THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ????? I’m fucking dying

gaywilliamjohnson: soundgoodizer: howd they get north america out there please bring us home

gaywilliamjohnson: soundgoodizer: howd they get north america out there please bring us home

"By his hands, I was melted, wrought anew..."

"By his hands, I was melted, wrought anew..."

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