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jaclcfrost: this is it this is what true temptation looks like
pubicles: Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am
otterly-riddikulus: look at this snape i found it seems normal but then what is this turn to page 394 motherfucker
raptorific: I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and
fake-mermaid: this is what happens when i don’t answer my texts
kitteningrayspaces: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgodhesloose: *boop* *bap* “I TOUCH YOUR BUTT” “WHAT NO” This made me giggle far too much
hod-the-blind: dx11: mancermechro: not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on.
wheelcher2: what’s that band with the 5 white men??
nilincartierwellsfuyutsukifanfic: songofages: This was ad-libbed by the voice actor, Craig Ferguson and they chose to keep it in because they loved it. Kids won’t get it but adults will be thinking “did he just imply what I think he implied?”
vogue-hearts: kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world. no matter what you look like.
richwhitelesbian: bro i love sports and women. i got to like 8th base with this hot babe “8th base whats that” she took me to the house she grew up in and showed me pictures of her dead relatives. We sat in the living room and she told me the stories
penis-hilton: 7eleven: What does that say idk
twinkle-twinkle-little-fuck: group projects when no one knows what they’re doing
partybarackisinthehousetonight: good cop: it’s okay, just tell us what happenedbad cop: why the hell would you rob a bank? you’re an idiot. see u in courtdad cop: i’m not mad. just disappointed
jademonster42: vannpires: what month comes after september??? halloween after that, at 61 days, is the longest month of the year, christmas
gameofchrons: is this what having a penis is like
grass10: ””“”“why did you cut your hair?::”“”“” i cut my hair to piss you off. specifially you, i was thinking of you when i cut my hair. i was thinking that you, specifically, would be interested in what my newly short hair meant
thesorrovv: ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have
ltalian: that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say
animatedamerican: awwww-cute: A box of baby bengals “What? No, I’m sorry, I ordered half a dozen mini bagels —”"Shut up, we’re keeping them.”
anderson-hummel: anderson-hummel: MY BROTHER JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND HE HAD A LIGHT BULB IN HIS MOUTH AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING” AND HE GOES “I WAS HAVING A LIGHT SNACK” AND LEAVES I’M DONE MY DAD JUST CAME IN WITH
sofiaauditores: *inhales* what a beautiful day *exhales* to play video games for 15 hours straight
meladoodle: *forgets what im talking about halfway through a sentence*
nodaybuttodaytodefygravity: nateriot: Obama on gay adoption yeah totally ruining this country what a horrible guy
lion: sidechick: did u see the pic? me: what pic? sidechick: the one of us I put on insta me:
unclefather: borlax: now this is what Im talkin about this is a weird cat
snoia: i literally have no idea what im gonna do if i dont end up rich
wit-up: humorprince: can’t we all be rich and have fun together that is what the kardashian game is for
feaqu: ask any teenager what type of music they listen to and 99 percent of the time they’ll say ‘anything but country’
cheesecakelama: opidiod: wellversedinetiquettte: What the fuck is wrong with this website absolutely nothing Its flawless
meowvgonspengler: 1950S SLANG IS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING IT IS SO RIDICULOUS LOOK AT WHAT IS THIS DUCK BU TT I AM LAUGHING RAZZ MY BERRIES
ladyhightimes: “Do you know what a mandala is?" "Um, those are those round Buddhist art things.” “The Tibetan monks make them out of dyed sand laid out into big beautiful designs. And when they’re done, after days and weeks
princeowl: what the hell r u doing unfollowing me while im asleep that is disrespectful
thanksforjackbarakat: alexgasxarth: I feel like knowing what Alex’s toilet looks like is something I never thought I’d have to experience. I didn’t think about it like that
the-frostiest-of-butts: lunabase: I wonder what its like to slow dance with your boyfriend in your kitchen at 2 am to your favorite song in your pajamas stay the fuck away from my boyfriend and my pajamas
legalmexican: What season of Bad Girls Club is this?
morefunthanb4: It’s weird when you read a headline like that and your first thought is like holy shit, even on death row, what kind of sick fuck would make that request but then you see the guys face and go oh right, yeah, that dude. sure.
officialunitedstates: unicornsneedlovetoo: officialunitedstates: officialunitedstates: what language do they speak at the center of the earth core-ean THE CENTER OF THE EARTH IS AROUND 5430 degrees Celsius… NOBODY IS GOING TO LIVE THERE SO THEY
craftbeerhallputsch: specterofcommunism: zhouenlaid: heroque: kingcheddarxvii: Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine’s Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him What’s
Chemistry more like cheMYSTERY because i have no idea what’s going on
trippiest: what a beautiful day to not be in high school
foxzes: fakethistoyourgrave: What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel do u mean excited
alpacalypse: what can i be for halloween which is sexy AND hilarious at the same time… myself
moriarty-the-timetraveling-lemur: themoonclockwork: maryxjanexholland: k-inkyyyy: what if concerts were actually like this, where no one would fuckin push each other around, just be happy and jump and shit they are like this, it’s an actual footage
bloggish: how the hell did we get the idea pink isn’t a cool colour because scientifically speaking pink doesn’t even exist; it fits between violet and red on the spectrum but actually what goes there is infrared and ultraviolet and all those things
contingent-dreams: lunar-raspberry: “And what do we say to death?”“Not today.” “The fuck out my face”
official-nepeta: colorfullyfuckedazazel: wifikings: nvxus: wifikings: What if Peter Pan was just an asshole, and had kids jump out of windows, making Neverland a coma dream? Peter Pan originally was an angel of death that held kid’s hands when
averagefairy: what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no
soulsnatcha: it’s not about your boobs ladies. it’s about what’s under your boobs. your lungs, because we are gonna be blazing a lot of kush and you need to keep up.
varsityrider: why-i-am-a-vet-student: What we have here, is every vet students dream; to find someone who can appreciate the disgusting and wonderful things that make us who we are as budding veterinarians. If you find someone who willingly listens
telapathetic: i just wanna know what my house smells like to other people
dumbledorathexplora: dumbledorathexplora: dumbledorathexplora: You know how in Nightmare before Christmas jack went through the door shaped like a tree and ended up in Christmas town? What if he went through the one shaped like a turkey? “Listen
dutchster: you know what would suck? being at a rave and trying to find your friend called molly
lordofthewolves: theperksofbeingjohnwatson: nahshaw: maybe he won’t die in the movie i love how we all know exactly what this post is about the passion of the christ
denise-huxxtable: huntingvoldemortinamobilelibrary: if you don’t think this carries an important message about our society then you are what is wrong with human society today And this is why when you see a post empowering and uplifting black women,
iwilleatyourenglish: everyone has said and done problematic things in their lifetime. that’s a result of the society we live in, not necessarily a reflection of their character. what is a reflection of their character is how they react to being informed
sweatrer: ur insecure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i kno what for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ur a bitch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
shipsnamedenterprise: *planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what
ultracoexistance: sluttynuggets: so i googled “boobs with faces” because i thought it would be funny?? and this popped up??? and im like what the hell these are just some really good art portraits of presidents why do they come up when you search
