wartortle
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wartortling: pumpkinradish: maxeth: Survival horror but you are inside a fucking IKEA and the enemy is the Staff Now THAT is a horror game this is just how ikea is
wartortles: When a popular blog follows you
wartortles: i think pitbull just bursts into the studio when someones recording and shouts “mr worldwide” and shit in spanish then runs away
wartortles: if u are ever having trouble on a test, just write “jesus” for the answer bc jesus is always the answer. god bless
wartortles:IM SCREAMING
wartortles: thenextnarcissus: morrissarty: the best of tumblr confusion YOU FORGOT THE BEST ONE god damn it
wartortles: god dammit oliver
wartortles: fill ur pockets with spaghetti to prevent people from pickpocketing u
wartortles: IM SCREAMING
wartortles: how do i get a girl to sit on my face? nothing sexual. i just want to suffocate and die
wartortles: still waiting for someone to make out with me
wartortles: *holding phone in hand* where the fuck is my phone
wartortles: if u have a nice butt there’s a 10,000% chance i wanna see it
wartortles: my life would be much more simpler if i were a dog
wartortles:When a popular blog follows you
wartortles: sometimes u just need ur genitals massaged by someones mouth u know
wartortles: instead of sitting there not kissing me u should be kissing me
wartortles: do u think ur pets talk shit about u when ur not home
wartortles: the older u get the funnier spongebob becomes
wartortles: el tigre es pequeño y gordo
wartortles: did u know that if u say “dam gurl show me dem titties” she will. no matter who she is. 100% success rate
wartortles: the definition of a douche bag is a guy who makes a gif of himself licking his lips
wartortles: do u even yawn so hard u can feel ur soul leaving ur body
wartortles: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life
wartortles: peetafied: my school held a hunger games today and so the victor got to ride around with prinCIPAL EFFIE and i just couldn’t I still have no idea how your school actually did this. Did you do like an obstacle course? Did you kill other
wartortles: im thirsty i could sure go for a nice glass of sex right about now
wartortles: am I honestly alive for this
wartortles: 20 minutes in jimmy neutron and chill and you give her this look gotta blast sft425
wartortles: idc what u say, space jam is a masterpiece. how do u put nba legend michael jordan and fuckin bugs bunny together and not have a masterpiece? exactly
wartortles: Pokemon Emerald Version: Opening
