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“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.â€
“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.â€
“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.â€
“You’re more hip than the body part Mrs. Hudson needs herbal soothers for.â€
“No, that’s not a British Army Browning L9A1 in my pocket.â€
“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.â€
“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.â€
“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.â€
“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.â€
“I promise to treat you like a queen… and by that I mean I’ll show up at your house in nothing but a bed sheet.â€
“You don’t need to force me to jump off of Bart’s in order to make my heart soar.â€
“Irene Adler may know what you like, but I am what you like.â€
“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?â€
“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.â€
“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.â€
“Can we cuddle? I promise not to squeeze as hard as the Golem.â€
“I would let Anderson write fanfiction about us.â€
“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.â€
“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.â€
“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.â€
“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.â€
“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.â€
“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.â€
“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.â€
“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.â€
“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.â€
“Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you.â€
“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.â€
“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.â€
“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.â€
“Are you the cabbie’s good pill? Because I’ll happily swallow for you.â€
“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.â€
“People don’t really go to Heaven when they die. They’re taken to a special room and burned. When they actually go to Heaven is when they see your face.â€
“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.â€
“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.â€
“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.â€
“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.â€
“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.â€
“Nobody has more features of interest than you.â€
“You are the crack in my lens.â€
“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.â€
“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?â€
“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.â€
“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.â€
“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.â€
“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.â€
“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.â€
“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.â€
“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.â€
“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.â€
“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.â€
“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.â€
“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.â€
“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.â€
“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.â€
“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.â€
“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.â€