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“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.”

“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.”

“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.”

“Is your name Janine? Because I would become a tabloid just to make you my whore.”

“You’re more hip than the body part Mrs. Hudson needs herbal soothers for.”

“You’re more hip than the body part Mrs. Hudson needs herbal soothers for.”

“No, that’s not a British Army Browning L9A1 in my pocket.”

“No, that’s not a British Army Browning L9A1 in my pocket.”

“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.”

“Writing my best man speech for your wedding was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… because I wasn’t the one you were marrying.”

“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.”

“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.”

“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.”

“Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? I want to be inside you.”

“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.”

“I may not know that the Earth revolves around the sun, but I know that my heart revolves around you.”

“I promise to treat you like a queen… and by that I mean I’ll show up at your house in nothing but a bed sheet.”

“I promise to treat you like a queen… and by that I mean I’ll show up at your house in nothing but a bed sheet.”

“You don’t need to force me to jump off of Bart’s in order to make my heart soar.”

“You don’t need to force me to jump off of Bart’s in order to make my heart soar.”

“Irene Adler may know what you like, but I am what you like.”

“Irene Adler may know what you like, but I am what you like.”

“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?”

“The stage is set. The curtain rises. We are ready to begin… Sorry, didn’t I mention that I’m an exhibitionist?”

“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.”

“I don’t just want you to be the shadow that defines my every sunny day– I want you to be my future too.”

“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.”

“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.”

“Can we cuddle? I promise not to squeeze as hard as the Golem.”

“Can we cuddle? I promise not to squeeze as hard as the Golem.”

“I would let Anderson write fanfiction about us.”

“I would let Anderson write fanfiction about us.”

“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.”

“I could deduce everything about you, but I’d much rather you tell me about yourself.”

“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.”

“I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the color pink.”

“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.”

“You’re sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in.”

“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.”

“My bed is cozier than John’s jumpers. Don’t believe me? Come see for yourself.”

“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Sorry about all the music. I play the violin when I’m thinking, and I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.”

“Your beauty is to die for… or at least fake die for so Moriarty’s sniper doesn’t shoot you.”

“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.”

“Your feelings for me are more obvious than the password on John’s computer.”

“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.”

“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.”

“Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you.”

“Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you.”

“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.”

“You are a work of art, with or without the Van Buren Supernova.”

“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.”

“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.”

“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.”

“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.”

“Are you the cabbie’s good pill? Because I’ll happily swallow for you.”

“Are you the cabbie’s good pill? Because I’ll happily swallow for you.”

“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.”

“Is your name Irene Adler? Because I want to see you naked even though we just met.”

“People don’t really go to Heaven when they die. They’re taken to a special room and burned. When they actually go to Heaven is when they see your face.”

“People don’t really go to Heaven when they die. They’re taken to a special room and burned. When they actually go to Heaven is when they see your face.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“I bet I could deduce your sexual orientation even if you weren’t wearing underwear.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Mycroft can resist a game of Deductions easier than I can resist you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“Are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Emelia Ricoletti’s corpse isn’t the only thing that’s going to be rising tonight.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“Nobody has more features of interest than you.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“You are the crack in my lens.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you a gong? Or a touch of the dramatic? Because I could never resist you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s grave? Because I dig you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s wedding song? Because I could never forget you.”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“May I be your unsavory companion of dubious morals?”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“Unprincipled drug addict or not, I’ll gladly be your gentleman hero.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“I would give you dancing lessons even if it meant your Sign Language needed work.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you a future world? Because I have a conjecture of how I might fit inside you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti’s ghost? Because I want you to be my boo.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My feelings for you are so blindingly obvious, even Lestrade could work them out.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“My love for you is increasing faster than Mycroft’s weight.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“The only papers I want floating in my mind palace are love letters from you.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Communicating in the Diogenes Club isn’t the only thing I can do with these hands.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Is your name Hooper? Because you’d be the most beautiful woman in the room even if you had a mustache.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you a loaded firearm in the pocket of my dressing gown? Because I want to finger you.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Are you Emelia Ricoletti? Because you got my attention in very efficient fashion.”

“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.”

“Your admirably high arches aren’t the only thing I noticed as soon as you stepped into the room.”

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