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“I would go on three dates with you even if you turned out to be a gay, consulting criminal.”
“I would wait a year and a half just to serenade you with my Bee Gees ringtone.”
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“I would never chase some killer while trying to get off with you.”
“I don’t care about your intermittent tremor– I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.”
“I thought your post-mortem joke was funny.”
“My division is the one between your legs.”
“If you were my day to die, I could never get a better offer.”
“If Moriarty was about to murder you, I would give him a call.”
“A Black Lotus flower isn’t the only thing I can put in your mouth.”
“I have five children.” Okay, so this one’s actually a bit of an inside joke… My ex-boyfriend, (whom I am no longer on speaking terms with), has a daughter now, and he’s been persistently trying to inform me of this fact.
“Forget Fifty Shades of Grey– how about fifty shades of silver?”
“I was Wats-off, but then you turned me Wats-on.”
“My umbrella will keep you dry, but I’ll keep you wet.”
“I’m not your type? Don’t worry– I’m sooooo changeable.”
“Can we go to your place? There’s a consulting criminal storyteller hiding at mine.”
“Want to know why the fandom calls me ‘Fucking Anderson’?”
“Bond Air isn’t my only ‘jumbo jet,’ if you get what I mean.”
“Don’t worry if I shout ‘Damn my leg!’ My third leg is still perfectly functional.”
“You light up my life like a Baskerville rabbit.”
“Want to go to Buckingham Palace and color-coordinate our ties?”
“I’d let you hold my hand even if you kidnapped me and asked me to spy on my flatmate.”
“My coat isn’t the only thing that’s pink and wet.”
“Mycroft? I’d rather be your croft.”
“I don’t know what you might deduce about my brother’s heart, but I’ll gladly tell you about mine.”
“Are you Anderson? Because you make my heart dino-soar.”
“I can’t have U.M.Q.R.A. without U.”
“Not sure about having chemistry with me? Don’t worry, I’m an excellent chemist.”
“You’re so great, even my shirt is giving you thumbs up.”
“I’m going to write you a love letter… I don’t have to prove it; I just have to print it.”
“I don’t need Anderson’s Reichenbach theory to show you how hypnotizing I can be.”
“Stabbing isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to you in the shower.”
“I don’t mind if you’re on your period… We’ll just call it an Urban Bloodlust Frenzy.”
“I’ll walk your dog… Even if you don’t have one.”
“I’m like Anderson’s beard… I’ll grow on you.”
“My last name may be Small, but my dick is huge.”
“Why bother telling me what I should put on a t-shirt? It’s just going to end up on your floor in a moment anyway.”
“I guess people can stop calling me The Ice Man, because you’ve melted my heart.”
“I’d love to get mail from you, even if it was just an envelope full of bread crumbs.”
“Are you Greg Lestrade? Because you look like a DI… A Dishy Individual.”
“I want you Anderneath me.”
“Being without you is worse than going to a matinee of Les Mis with my parents.”
“I would love you even if you made post-mortem jokes about my hip.”
“I would solve a skip code and steal a motorcycle for you.”
“You can imagine the Christmas dinners, but I’d much rather you be there to experience them yourself.”
“I would share my ‘herbal soothers’ with you.”
“You don’t need Connie Prince. You’re already the most beautiful thing in the world.”
“I’d let a strange woman abduct me as long as she was taking me to you.”
“Makeover queen? No, I’m the makeout queen.”
“My love for you is bigger than Henry Knight’s house.”
“You smell cleaner than Kenny Prince’s cat.”
“You make me wetter than a fireplace that’s just met Magnussen.”
“My love for you burns like the A.G.R.A. flash drive.”
“May the problems of your future be my privilege?”
“The thought of being without you scares me more than a Baskerville Hound.”
“Are you frequenting cafes? Because you are smoking.”
“Are you Mr. Summerson? Because I’d like to fondle your testicles.”
“Why don’t you play Operation with me instead? You’ll never have to handle a broken heart.”
“You’re hotter than The Dynamics of Combustion.”
“Lestrade? More like Lust-rade.”
