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Pick-Up Lines Hyper-Masculine StyleCalvin did his best to put on a friendly smile, but he had just spent the best part of fifty thousand dollars ensuring that his new face would piss the pants out of a hardened UFC fighter.The best he could do was an
“Is this Reichenbach? Because I think I’m falling for you.”
“Can I come over? I’ll scrub your floors, if you get what I mean.”
“Fuck me! I won a BAFTA!”
“It’s a drugs bust. I’ll bring the drugs; you bring the bust.”
“I would frequent cafes just to have a meeting with you.”
“Wanna know how you can recognize me by not my face?”
“I would rob Buckingham Palace just for your amusement.”
“Excuse me, but could you help me recover some missing files? I seem to have deleted boobs.”
“I’m sorry my face puts you off. Perhaps you’d prefer my dick?”
“I would rip off your clothes at a darkened swimming pool even if there wasn’t a bomb strapped to you.”
“I made you some shoes.”
“I need someone to take my measurements. Care to volunteer?”
“If I had a chin for every time I thought of you, I’d have no friends.”
“I made you coffee. Do you prefer it black or drugged?”
“Let’s talk about the birds and the Bee Gees.”
“You’re gonna need a blanket when you see the size of my cock.”
“You are such a brilliant conductor of light, not even Bluebell can glow as bright as you.”
“I never thought heroes existed until I met you.”
“Is that a riding crop under your coat, or are you just happy to see me?”
“You’re so hot, you’re gonna burn the heart out of me.”
“Whenever I’m with you, I’m hornier than Anderson in a triceratops costume.”
“I would jump in front of a death frisbee for you, my dear.”
“You can slip your hand into my pocket anytime.”
“People who don’t find me attractive? Not my division.”
“I bet I can make your pulse increase and your pupils dilate.”
“I want to give you head. And I’m not talking about the one in the fridge.”
“I’d share deodorant with you even if it was for men.”
“If I broke into your home, would you have a cup of tea with me?”
“I’m hung like a Baskerville Hound.”
“I know caring is not an advantage, but that hasn’t stopped me from caring about you.”
“Your Moves Like Jagger make me want to Stay Alive.”
“I think you just turned me straight. Let’s have dinner.”
“Sex doesn’t alarm me. Want me to prove it?”
“I noticed that you put product in your hair… So do I, if you get what I mean.”
“I’ll tease you more than Arwel Wyn Jones.” Submitted by the-improbable-1.
“You are the grape of my eye. Apples are boring.” Submitted by bandofbaskets.
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“I’m not your housekeeper, but I’ll gladly be your housewife.â€
“If I had an unsolved murder for every time I thought of you, I’d be Scotland Yard without Sherlock.â€
“On your knees, Professor… Don’t worry, I have something much better than kicking you over the Reichenbach Falls planned.â€
“My code name is Antarctica because I have such an impressive ‘South Pole.’“
Yes, yes we can.
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