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herriestiles: shelterfromcold: two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”. this literally took me forever to get
all-the-other-humans: Fucking physics
swagking4000: there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded
ernoji: tru friends ignore each other’s acne
vomdesgarcons: my friend sent me this the other day and im still laughing
flyawaymax: doritoed: if a plant is sad do other plants photosympathize with it? ”i chlorofeel you man”
sarah531: The other day I had a really good idea for a story: A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the
lunabriluna: umistakeme-forstraight: Don’t shame the girls who sent pictures of themselves half-naked to their significant others as a way to express eroticism which is healthy and natural… give the people hell who think it’s okay to destroy
tszarina: i remember when i was in second grade and i saw my sister kiss her female friend on the cheek and i was totally floored because i didn’t know two girls could kiss each other and i went to school and told my friends and we all started kissing
pippin-and-other-drugs: zimoku: tatoos-are-hot: vontoast: yoshika420: dingoinnuendo: you dont know true competition until youre one of the last two people in musical chairs i nearly killed someone like this once the chair games may the chairs
any other heart .
zombalien-2: secretly—british: trenchgun: meloettas: why is this tomato riding a sled he has to ketchup to the other tomatoes im done with this website
dampsandwich: pancakes always sound like a great idea until you eat one and realize you definitely don’t want the other 3 sitting on your plate
trillow: we’re literally random people around the world sitting on the internet telling bad jokes to each other why the fuck is this the most important thing i’ve got going on
cumaddict72: chekhov: So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like Ū) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake
cozyorangesweaters: heartrightoutofsync19: wonderfulcunt86: kaijuscience: it’s just so funny how you can just click with some people but not others, like you can meet a new friend who completely gets you in like 2 weeks and yet have a parent or
ihavenosocialife: cuttingmyhips: agent-british-fangirl: kldzbop: imagine banana wiht any other vowel bununu benene bonono binini bynyny Since when was ‘y’ a vowel? A E I O U AND SOMETIMES Y GO TO FIRST GRADE we
neptunain: i wish there wasn’t a stigma about doing things alone. you can’t go out to eat alone, you can’t see a movie alone, basically anything fun, you’re looked down on for doing alone and it’s so stupid you shouldn’t need other people
bashooking: MABASTIAN APPRECIATION WEEK : Day 2∟ Favourite Scene : Bash and Mary proposing to each other [1.12]
strangergirls: oy-eld-thankee: I love how the other one is like “whoop, heres my ride” Get in, loser, we’re going mopping
perfecly: Stop planting your flowers in other people’s gardens if you know they aren’t going to water them.
kimpissable: clevverbot: UH NO. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MAKE A BURGER FIRST OF ALL, THE PICKLES ARE ALL ON ONE SIDE OF THE FUCKING THING, SO YOU’LL EITHER HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE
anidorikildra: shippingreactions: WHEN CHARACTERS WON’T ADMIT THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH IT’S SO OBVIOUS It’s even better because he’s on a ship.
guiltyhipster: The joke’s on both of you You end up dating each other
dragon-in-a-fez: sassykardashian: IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES you just put every marriage counsellor out of business
severingsnapes: sammys-luscious-locks: inhalers: being addicted to american tv shows is so annoying because you guys have so many stupid fucking holidays for everything that every other week im disappointed when I go to see if the next ep is up yet
sweetcheeksaremadeofthese: beyondterrestrial: praedat0r: feministcaptainmorgan: projectunbreakable: nine photographs portraying quotes said to sexual assault survivors by police officers, attorneys, and other authority figures more info about project
shimadonna: Pitbulls aren’t evil, the bastards who put them against each other are. the fuckin dog is like should i lick the bun i’m gonna lick the bun *licks the bun*
sassykardashian: IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES
craigslist houseshare ad: “i have a garden growing in my shower so you have to use eco-friendly hair products. you will see worms and other insects, and you will occasionally see a spider too but they all help out the ecosystem.”
mournthewicked: watchtheskytonight: playthebells-monalisa: serahfarron: awklicious: Did you know that this scene was entirely unscripted? Johnny Depp just kinda went with this and no one stopped him, so the reactions’ on the other actors’ faces
shutupvevo: on the one hand it’s a joke but on the other hand where is the lie
necesitamos:FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT you are allowed to feel proud of yourself for things that might seem silly to other people, like getting better at a video game or putting together a nice outfit for the next morning or finishing a book. You deserve
anonymous-kiwi: mistletease: ohhaiguise: sirscrewloose: legendofsherlock: notenjolras: #can we please discuss the fact that this movie was made by Americans #some of us might actually be self-aware Nobody has to deal with americans more than other
babycakesbriauna:youngblackandvegan: rihannainfinity:February 8: Rihanna & Beyoncé at the 57th annual GRAMMY Awardsthey look like they are both each other’s biggest fan nikkisshadetree the yearly photo
peace-love-maplesyrup:square-enix:humans are kinda cute we pass stories down generations to instill a sense of wonder in people we’ll never know and we have little bells on our houses to tell each other that we’ve arrived and we shiver when we get
hellokristenx: chamelion-circuit: amordelfriki: prokopetz: prokopetz: Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call
okaysizedbangtheory:i hate when people take other people’s glasses and are like ‘you have horrible vision’ like do you take wheelchairs from people and go ‘wow you have shitty legs’
beautifulfic:beautifulfic:The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled
cocainedollarbillsandmyhlp:bandsandyoutuberswow:tszarina: i remember when i was in second grade and i saw my sister kiss her female friend on the cheek and i was totally floored because i didn’t know two girls could kiss each other and i went to school
nativepeopleproblems: I know that since Ebola is no longer a risk in America and other Western countries, most people have stopped caring about it, but it’s nice to know that as of today, Liberia is officially Ebola-free.
parrofinch:aria-jane-cherry:My parents got their nipples pierced together (like they didn’t attach themselves to each other via nipples they both got their nipples done) as a couple thing idk and dad would attach those phone charms that light up with
i-still-love-the-way-you-hurt-me: youcantcancelquidditch: nightvails: I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn’t think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise I possibly could. I heard the guys
asammyg: How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again.
louieisdead: I’ve always enjoyed trading music with others. Discovering new music is honestly one of the best things in life.
xthegirlwithkaleidoscopeyesx: Him: We finish each other’s s-Me: -ocial justice rants
kzunigaphoto: So I was shooting on this roof earlier and this couple randomly comes out from that door and are playing and running to and from each other for like 20 minutes. They looked like little kids, It was so cute I wanted to cry.
arichii: i think sleeping together is romantic because you allow the other person to be near you when you’re most vulnerable and you trust that they wont kill you
awkwardvagina: i don’t know what im laughing about more, the ostrich, the girl that looks like she’s crying in the other car or the llama in the mirror
chessys:i hate when u are being a fun and zesty texter and the other person is a slice of damp bread i cant carry this conversation alone i have very little upper body strength
jiveturkeyjerky: I love the guy who’s clearly a teacher who came over with the intent to tear two fucking idiot teenagers apart from each other only to find these fucking nerds it probably made his entire month
elvagilante: One of these people is regarded as one of the most attractive in the world and the other as one of the least, but for one brief, shining moment, they looked exactly alike.
jamesmurrays: WARNING: The following program contains scenes of graphic stupidity among four lifelong friends who compete to embarass each other.
hashtagdion: pizza-and-pretty: Being popular and going to a school dance or event with someone that has down syndrome or autism or any other disability is not “brave” it’s not an “inspiration” it’s being a fucking person. It shouldn’t
fiercefatfeminist: I am a strong supporter of girls complimenting other girls
unfaggy: backdoorteenmom: unfaggy: when someone asks if they can borrow a pen but they dont return it Pens cost like 5 cents so youre one of those people who ‘borrow’ others pens without returning them
inkskinned: three years ago i was trapped in an awful relationship with a toxic person who blamed me for her drug addiction. i had to break up over the phone because every other time i’d tried to break up in person, she had coerced me into staying.
thinsiqnificant: All I have been getting lately is messages telling me how much of a terrible person I am. I’m sorry that I can’t do anything right or say anything right. All I do is mess up others lives. Even my own mother said that. My dad left