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tigerfan371:I went to bed very tired last night. I told my mom I needed a wake up call. To my surprise this is how I was woken up. Certainly no complaints here. I think I’ll be asking for wake up calls every day now. I wouldn’t want to deprive her
milfson: YOUR MOM AND ALL OF THE OTHER WHITE MOTHERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD FIGHT OVER WHO GETS TO SUCK AND GET FUCKED BY JEROME’S BIG BLACK COCK EVERY NIGHT. THE TEENAGE THUG LIKES YOUR MOM THE BEST, HE CALLS HER HIS BITCH, HE WANTS TO MAKE HER PREGNANT
frenchheartattacks: so my mom is a dispatcher for our town’s police and one time a man called 911 saying that he was with his kid and he didn’t think he was breathing and so my mom rushed a few ambulances out and directed him on how to give cpr over
marblenerdette:My brother had to call me while I was driving home to tell me my mom was on a conference call, so I wouldn’t slam the door open and yell “Guess who’s home, motherfuckers” like I usually do.
hisnamewasbeanni: smartgirlsattheparty: libertytochoose: A group called Connecticut Working Mom’s has put together an AMAZING photo spread called “Lets End The Mommy Wars”. The photo shoot was about embracing their different parenting choices.
bagnifacent: handjob: frenchheartattacks: so my mom is a dispatcher for our town’s police and one time a man called 911 saying that he was with his kid and he didn’t think he was breathing and so my mom rushed a few ambulances out and directed
supermotherlover:My Mom dreams off to be gangbanged by young guys so i call up my buddies and makes my Mom’s wish true
jerkidiot: my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours” are you sure mom are you sure these are
glitterweave:2chainz2furious:i was looking for apartments earlier today and i think i found the perfect oneMe: *Calls mom* Where are you?Mom: Bathroom 47
glitterweave: 2chainz2furious: i was looking for apartments earlier today and i think i found the perfect one Me: *Calls mom* Where are you?Mom: Bathroom 47
wrestleman:TRANSCRIPT:(Phone rings)TERRY: Uh, mom? Bonnie’s calling.GAYLE: Don’t answer it.TERRY: Mom, I can see you’re stressed. You’re just pouring milk into the dehumidifier.GAYLE: Ah, shit.BONNIE (on the answering machine): Hey, Gayle! You
enteirory:natalieironside:>change my display name in the D&D Discord server from “DM” to “Dungeon Mom”>players go along with it, all start calling me “Dungeon Mom”>gender.fmv>one of them accidentally
burgrs: in 7th grade i turned to this kid that wouldn’t stop talking during class and i said “eric im going to shove this pencil up your ass” and my teacher called my mom and made me tell her what i said and my mom laughed for like 4 minutes
glitterweave: 2chainz2furious:i was looking for apartments earlier today and i think i found the perfect oneMe: *Calls mom* Where are you?Mom: Bathroom 47
theconcealedweapon: You’re able to call your parents “Mom” and “Dad”. They were not born with those names. You’re able to call your teachers “Mr” or “Mrs” and their last name. You’d get in trouble if you addressed them by first name.
what-grace-has-forgiveness:bezakonik-deactivated20210314:master-milenko:bezakonik-deactivated20210314:my mom still says czechoslovakia Your mom was alive when it was still called Czechoslovakia? I think she might be a time traveller bro…when do
jerkidiot: my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”are you sure mom are you sure these are my
yourenosaint: communistbakery: it’s not christmas yet here but my parents called me aside and my mom said before we open gifts tomorrow, there were a few small gifts she wanted to give to me and so basically my mom gave me all of this makeup stuff
brassy: I had a friend in 6th grade and I for some reason thought his name was Edgar and he never corrected me and after a year of calling him Edgar I was over his house and his mom was like “why do you call him that his names Kyle”
aletterofhope: Dear old self, You will be confused. You won’t understand why mom and dad refused call you ‘Junior’ when you were 5 years old. You won’t understand why mom and dad yelled at you to put a shirt on when you played outside with friends.
chubby-bunnies: themanicpixiedreamgrrrl: mylovelylittleworld40: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … Me as a mom SHE CALLED HER KID A DOUCHE CANOE hes going to learn today
theimpossiblewolf: queenerrant: thatsthat24: hellyeahthomassanders: My mom receives a bad call… 📞 by Thomas Sanders I love my mom so much, like… She’s seriously the best. Happy April Fool’s Day!! 💜 this is so genuine. so pure This
cassandrashipsit: pinkpandorafrog: isaacsapphire: phantomoftheparadise: Y'all the wildest thing ever happened today I need to tell you… Mom got a call from Washington DC telling her it was an emergency and she had to call back instantly. Of course
renniequeer: renniequeer: My dad: “So if your pronouns are they and them, how should I refer to you when I brag about you? My daughter? My son?” Me: “Mom’s just been calling me her kid or her child.” My dad: “I shall call you…my Eldest
galifianafuck: omfg I called my mom’s phone so I could tell them I wanted mcdonalds but she didn’t answer her phone and then all of a sudden our house phone rings and I assumed that it was her calling back so when I answered it I yelled “PLEASE
wreckedteens: Let’s send nudes to each other but first lemme ask my mom to call your mom to make sure it’s okay
bombing: mom? yeah hey its me. i just called to—what? yeah i’m doing fine thanks. listen i was playing call of duty and this kid said some really shocking things about you and i just had to confirm that they weren’t true
reaq: iguessthatscool: imnotjailbait: Kesha explaining why fans are now calling their faves “mom” lmao im dying if you’re reading this im your mom
felixgattogigio: he day I found out that my mother masturbating became the time when I started my story Sex with mom. Some call it incest. I call it love the woman who taught you to love.
musiclover255: jenniferlawrences: let’s not even pretend there’s something worse than your mom passing you the phone for you to wish happy birthday to a relative Your mom making you call the relative yourself to wish them a happy birthday
hismomskeeper: skimpymoms: hotinc: My mum is the best. She calls me every evening on Skype to give me a private show. Follow SkimpyMoms for more mom & son porn! Mom & son porn videos
reaq: iguessthatscool:imnotjailbait: Kesha explaining why fans are now calling their faves “mom” lmao im dying if you’re reading this im your mom
badmanbadplace: Teacher bends to explain problem to student Me: Mom, why do all the students in my class call the teacher to their desk asking questions? Mom: Son, at that point, your attention should be focused on her butt because chances are that
doorkickersinc: “Before you call for your Mom or your God, you will call for Doc…”
unclefather: Don’t fall in love with me. I will take you to a museum and leave you there. All by yourself. You can call me and be mad and tell me to “come back and get you” but i won’t and you will call your mom and look like an idiot when you
egberts: shakesqueer: egberts: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR ALMOST A MONTH FOR THE EYE DOCTOR TO CALL AND TELL ME MY GLASSES WERE IN AND APPARENTLY THEY CALLED OVER A WEEK AGO AND M Y MOM JUST NOW TOLD ME bet you didnt see that coming
cloritos: calling one of your teachers mom is bad but imagine calling one daddy
ballergball: Except my mom keeps calling me a wimpy dick loser and let’s all my friends fuck her fat bubble butt like a slut mom
libertytochoose: A group called Connecticut Working Mom’s has put together an AMAZING photo spread called “Lets End The Mommy Wars”. The photo shoot was about embracing their different parenting choices. “Let’s end the mommy wars, once and
poopflow: cloritos: calling one of your teachers mom is bad but imagine calling one daddy
