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“Excuse me, but could you help me recover some missing files? I seem to have deleted boobs.”
“My hip isn’t the only thing about me that’s bad. Let me show you how naughty I can be.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I always hear ‘kiss me on the mouth’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by imadeyousomeshoes.
“Let me be your umbrella. You can open me over your ‘head’ any time you want.” Submitted by thedithatcould.
“Would you like me to alarm you?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Honey, you should see me in a crown… and nothing else.”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“I only pick up other guys because Mycroft orders me to. You’re the one I’m sexting.” Based on a suggestion by tophatsandfedoras, who wanted Anthea sexting.
“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”
“Face the other way. You’re getting me off.”
“You make me so stiff, Molly mistook me for one of her cadavers.”
“Don’t you want me on the floor too? And on the bed, and on the couch, and on the table, and against the wall…” Submitted by anonymous.
“You make me so happy, I spray painted a smiley face on our wall.”
“I don’t need an essay about all my friends hating me to know that you love me the most.”
“I’d let you make me wear the hat.”
“I would come back from the dead and hijack a bunch of TVs just because you missed me.”
“You make me more speechless than John asking me to be his best man.”
“Would you still love me even though you’re made of hair and I’m made of eyeliner?” Yup, the mustaches are their own characters here now. Because why the hell not?
“I’d let a strange woman abduct me as long as she was taking me to you.”
“You don’t have to show me beheadings to get a hug from me.”
“Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? Me on my way to steal yo girl.”
“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but me wearing nothing at all is a must-see.”
“You say alone protects you, but I know of another kind of protection that we can use together.â€(Edit: This graphic was originally uploaded with Sherlock’s font instead of John’s, even though John’s supposed to be the one saying the pick-up
“Hounds freak me out. You should show me your pussy instead.â€
“Now why don’t you stop beating that corpse and put that riding crop to good use?â€Submitted by @call-me-mrs-moriarty.
jwheezie1984: Come get some O.M.G. - I would like that so much!Pick me, pick me!!!
wifefinallyfucksfriends: Love this moment! Well if you’re brave enough to whip it out in front of my husband and I… ONE of us is gonna suck it (Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!).
abigailmays: Need someone to play with my hair Pick me pick me.
mdptny: abigailmays: Need someone to play with my hair Pick me pick me.
patrick-daniel: She always picks me these,So I kept the very last one she picked for me before we said good bye.
fucklikeagod: mistressmoxx:How all my Sunday mornings should be spent. Anyone want to volunteer their face for my pleasure? Pick me, pick me… dripdripmoanmoan while you study!!
go-sissyslut:harrietharden:sissypansyfag:cocfs:where do you want it, sissy? you can only pick one.My ass please! Pick me up and throw me on the bed. See which way up I land. Heads or tails ? xxxharrietxxx my mouth daddy
gookdom: “Pick me, mister white man! Prease! I prease you rearry good! Prease, PICK ME!”
godess-property: roads9921: absolutely! Pick me pick me. I live to serve Looking for one
godess-property: roads9921: absolutely! Pick me pick me. I live to serve Oh more than you know.
futa-and-shemale: who is next to be pegged. Pick me, pick me.
go-sissyslut: harrietharden:sissypansyfag:cocfs:where do you want it, sissy? you can only pick one.My ass please! Pick me up and throw me on the bed. See which way up I land. Heads or tails ? xxxharrietxxx my mouth daddy decisions, decisions…&
lolita-princess: generalbriefing: seriouslyamerica: I WOULD PROBABLY DATE SOMEONE WHO DID THIS. Fun fact: intentionally bad (but not sexist, obivously) pick-up lines work unreasonably well on me. The level of awesome here is inspiring. oh god that
rubbercanuck: Pick me! Pick me!
goldenstreamssf: streaminggold: Someone needs a dirty playmate. Pick me! pick me!
kinkystartshere: findingme2013: Ooh! Pick me, Sir! Pick me!!!! And spanked!!
Who wants to join in? Pick me, pick me….:p
godess-property: roads9921: absolutely! Pick me pick me. I live to serve Yes
1dreamerlove: So who’s turn is it? Pick me Pick me!!!
dangercouple13: dangercouple13 is currently accepting applicants to lick her pussy as she slides down my hard cock… ;-) Pick me! Pick me!
godiva33: I could use some help here…please? Pick me pick me
thecircumcisedmaleobsession: 28 year old straight Army HOTTIE stationed in Fort Hood, TX He said he was up for having a MFM threesome and having his “dick deepthroated by the right girl who could take it all"… PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!!! Yuuuuuuum
I’m going to give you a choice tonight. One if us is going to cum, and you get to pick who.If you pick me, I’m going to ride your face until I cum. If you pick yourself, I’m going to ride your face until you cum. But I’m not going to touch your
stevita:I feel cute and my hair looks like daisy from the great gatsby and no one is cuddling me or eating my cooking this is a problem Pick me, Pick Me!
nicholas-brauns:You didn’t pick me, I picked you. Why? ‘Cause you gave me your last match. You made me laugh. SCARECROW 1973 | dir. Jerry Schatzberg
carpebutts: empress-homogay: “oh i love your name” “thanks i picked it out myself” is an A+ trans joke me, making fun of cis people: “nice name, did your mom pick it out for you?”
naughtyballerina1821: dominant–gentleman: naughtyballerina1821: dominant–gentleman: naughtyballerina1821: Cute date idea Pick me up a mile away from my house so no one knows it’s me your picking up. Make me sit in the trunk of your car so no
you should pick me bc lets start off by saying that i love you so much you love me too i just know it im funny haha yeah umm yeah, i guess :) ilysm bb pick me o k bc there would be ugly crying if you dont byee xx
asheathes: You’re Elizabeth. He who stabs the heart of the captain must take over as captain. The Dutchman must always have a captain. And if he saves me, he loses you. He won’t pick me, I wouldn’t pick me! Tell him not to come. Tell him to stay
nohoslut: lunersea: tanned-porcelain-skin: I could really use a tight ass to plow. Any takers? Pick me. Pick me. You have a mouth watering hole twitching cock. Fuck me absolutely any way You desire
doctorandnurse: Who’s ready to eat me up? Raising my hand as high as I can, pick me Nurse Goodbody, pick me! I’d love to taste your tight little body!
igirisu: theusukblog: When this happens to me, the conversation normally goes like this. America: BRO, you’re totally underestimating how strong a hero I am! See, I can do this. -Picks me up- England: For goodness… I know… You’ve picked me up
sexygirlwholifts: Someone want to spot me in the gym? 💪🍑 Hey pick me pick me please 🙏love this amazing booty and everything else about her.. Thank you & Love ya @shymilfmarie
reddvelvette: reddvelvette: mr-feelgood-stuff: Mr-Feelgood-Stuff – “Take Your Pleasure Seriously” Pick me, Pick me!!!! I LOVE when a man cleans himself up for me. 🖤
slutwitharing: I waited for my wife to call me to pick her up, but she didn’t call in the morning, or in the afternoon, or in the evening. Finally, after 24 hours, she called me late at night: “I’m exhausted sweetie. Come pick me up. You might
