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“Your face isn’t the only part of you I’d like to lick.”

“Your face isn’t the only part of you I’d like to lick.”

“Your mustache ages you… Good thing I like older men.”

“Your mustache ages you… Good thing I like older men.”

“A nice murder normally cheers me up, but it seems like you’ve brightened my day already.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“A nice murder normally cheers me up, but it seems like you’ve brightened my day already.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.

“Don’t worry, I’m not like the cafe next door… I won’t be speedy.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.

“Don’t worry, I’m not like the cafe next door… I won’t be speedy.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.

“I’m gonna climb you like Zhi Zhu climbs buildings.”

“I’m gonna climb you like Zhi Zhu climbs buildings.”

“Someone stalking me isn’t the only ‘personal matter’ I’d like to write to you about.”

“Someone stalking me isn’t the only ‘personal matter’ I’d like to write to you about.”

“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?”

“I’m sorry you don’t like Harold on my face… Perhaps you’d prefer him in between your thighs?”

“You’re not like Magnussen’s spectacles… You are anything but ordinary.”

“You’re not like Magnussen’s spectacles… You are anything but ordinary.”

“I know you like to hold your umbrella all the time, but I wish you would hold my hand instead.”

“I know you like to hold your umbrella all the time, but I wish you would hold my hand instead.”

“When you said you were on tinder, I realize you meant buried in Magnussen’s bonfire, but I’d still like to swipe right.”

“When you said you were on tinder, I realize you meant buried in Magnussen’s bonfire, but I’d still like to swipe right.”

“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“

“Broadly speaking, I’d like to have a ‘function’ in your ‘narrative.’“

“John says I tend to rub people up the wrong way, but I bet I can rub you right where you like it.”

“John says I tend to rub people up the wrong way, but I bet I can rub you right where you like it.”

“You don’t need to be like Mycroft. Why use a treadmill when you get plenty of exercise running through my mind?”

“You don’t need to be like Mycroft. Why use a treadmill when you get plenty of exercise running through my mind?”

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“Scold me like Irene Adler scolded Kate Middleton.”

“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.”

“Me without you is like a deerstalker with only one front.”

“The man with the key is king. How’d you like to be my queen?”

“The man with the key is king. How’d you like to be my queen?”

“My suit may be Westwood, but I can give you wood in any direction you like.”

“My suit may be Westwood, but I can give you wood in any direction you like.”

“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.”

“You stole my heart like Eddie Van Coon stole the jade hair pin.”

“I promise to treat you like a queen… and by that I mean I’ll show up at your house in nothing but a bed sheet.”

“I promise to treat you like a queen… and by that I mean I’ll show up at your house in nothing but a bed sheet.”

“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.”

“Our sex is like a crime– the weirder it is, the more I get off.”

“So, I hear you’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. I can conform to that pattern if you’d like.”

“So, I hear you’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. I can conform to that pattern if you’d like.”

“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“I wish I could hack CCTV cameras like Mycroft, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“You’re carved into my heart like I.O.U. on an apple.”

“You’re carved into my heart like I.O.U. on an apple.”

“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.”

“Fighting off a swordsman isn’t the only thing I’d like to do on my kitchen table.”

“I like blondes… even speckled blondes.”

“I like blondes… even speckled blondes.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“Tie me up like a Serbian with a cheating wife and no electricity in his bathroom would.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“This pistol isn’t the only thing I’d like on the tip of my tongue.”

“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.”Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.

“Are you Irene Adler? Because I’d like to keep a picture of you in my pocket watch.”Based on a suggestion by @cat-n-claw.

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“You’re clearly acclimatized to never getting to the end of a sentence. I could give you something else to do with your mouth, if you’d like.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Forget the hanging in Wandsworth– I’d like to take a ‘professional’ interest in how well you’re hung.”

“Kiss me until my lipstick is smeared like Emelia Ricoletti’s.”

“Kiss me until my lipstick is smeared like Emelia Ricoletti’s.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I must go deep into myself to solve this case… but first I’d like to be deep into you.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“I don’t care whether you’re a Viennese alienist or a retired army surgeon– you can ask me any curious questions you like.”

“If you left me, my heart would shatter like the six busts of Margaret Thatcher.”

“If you left me, my heart would shatter like the six busts of Margaret Thatcher.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.”

“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”

“Would you like to have a night of passion in High Wycombe with me?”

“We’re not like the gravestones at Musgrave Hall. Our dates will never be wrong.”

“We’re not like the gravestones at Musgrave Hall. Our dates will never be wrong.”

“Are you the night Magnussen got shot? Because I’d like to slap my ‘D-notice’ on your ‘incident.’“

“Are you the night Magnussen got shot? Because I’d like to slap my ‘D-notice’ on your ‘incident.’“

“My dick is so huge, I make porn stars look like Faith Smith’s kitchen.”

“My dick is so huge, I make porn stars look like Faith Smith’s kitchen.”

“Your ass is like Rosie’s rattle: If you keep throwing it in my face, I’ll keep grabbing it.”

“Your ass is like Rosie’s rattle: If you keep throwing it in my face, I’ll keep grabbing it.”

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