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just-shower-thoughts: Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
just-shower-thoughts: When you “bite down” on something, you’re actually “biting up” because you can’t move your top jaw. It’s okay to try to “bite down” now
just-shower-thoughts: Growing up, minesweeper taught me that no matter how good you are, some things just come down to luck.
just-shower-thoughts: Pizza isn’t cut into triangles. It’s cut into radians.
just-shower-thoughts: Im more picky about who i jerk off to, then who i would Bang.
just-shower-thoughts: If someone else caused you as much trouble as you cause yourself by procrastinating, that person would be your sworn enemy.
Just showered and all nice and cozy clean in my pajamas! With a clean diaper on after drinking 3 cups of tea I might need it! ☕️
just-shower-thoughts: People always tell me not to use stereotypes against immigrants. They then go on to say that they are working hard and helping our country. They fail to realize that they are using a stereotype. Wow these are some shitty shower
just-shower-thoughts: What do the people who stop the microwave at 0:01 do with all their spare time?
just-shower-thoughts: It’s funny how some biblical names caught on and not others. Plenty of Daniels, Davids, and Johns, but not so many Jehoshaphats, Zerubbabels, and Zadoks.
just-shower-thoughts: If everyone drove exactly like me. I wonder how pissed I would get on my morning commute? I wouldn’t have to pass any slowpokes because we’d all be doing 90 down the Baltimore Washington Parkway
just-shower-thoughts: The heavier a thing is, the harder it is to throw it far away. The lighter a thing is, the harder it is to throw it far away. Not exactly, light objects with poor aerodynamics are hard to throw because they don’t have to
just-shower-thoughts: At some point, we WILL possibly be able to download a car, due to the rise of 3D printers. Yeah, you’ll be able to download the car, but will you be able to put it together? If everyone prints their own car there’ll
just-shower-thoughts: Terry Crews would’ve been a way better Genie.
just-shower-thoughts: Ooo ahh hot hot
just-shower-thoughts: If you lose your left arm your right will be left and you’ll be all right.
just-shower-thoughts: Luke Skywalker defeated the Empire single handedly.
just-shower-thoughts: That Google Chrome “what tab is being noisy?” speaker icon should function as a mute button.
just-shower-thoughts: Security guards working at Samsung stores should be called Guardians of the Galaxy.
just-shower-thoughts: I’ve been using AdBlock for more than five years; I have no idea what the internet actually looks like.
just-shower-thoughts: Since our voices always sound cooler to ourselves than when on a recording, I can only imagine what Morgan Freeman sounds like to himself when he’s talking.
just-shower-thoughts: There should be a Sesame Street for adults, where complex/difficult concepts, like trigonometry or arbitration vs. going to court/trial, are broken down and explained by puppets.
just-shower-thoughts: Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.
just-shower-thoughts: If you don’t have enough money for a tip, you don’t have enough money to order delivery.
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder if in 50-60 years there will be TV-Shows like Boardwalk Empire,which take place during the “marijuana-prohibition”.
just-shower-thoughts: In Pacific Rim, the humans defeated the Kaiju with a Jäeger bomb.
just-shower-thoughts: Many of us will be the last people in the course of human history to have experienced life without computers and Internet.
just-shower-thoughts: If everyone is always thinking outside the box, wouldn’t thinking inside the box really be thinking outside the box?
just-shower-thoughts: You know you’re an adult when you finally understand why it would be so exciting to win a brand new bedroom set on Price is Right.
just-shower-thoughts: Cyber Monday is the perfect day to unsubscribe from all unwanted marketing emails because you’ll be emailed by every single one of them.
just-shower-thoughts: Blunt can mean straight to the point, however there are no points on blunt objects.
just-shower-thoughts: If you make a killing you make a lot of money. If you make a living you make enough to get by.
just-shower-thoughts: Learning to code has totally fucked my google search history. For example, “Do you fork a child before or after you kill the parent?”
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder how many item features I don’t know about because I have never read a instruction manual for anything.
just-shower-thoughts: I check Facebook like I check my fridge: returning every few minutes only to be disappointed, and leaving.
just-shower-thoughts: If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
just-shower-thoughts:“Fifty shades of grey” is considered a romantic story only because the guy is a billionare. If he was living in a trailer or in a shack somewhere in the woods it would be an episode of “Criminal minds”.
just-shower-thoughts: “Would you rather crash on a friend’s couch or the freeway?” would be a good campaign slogan against drinking and driving.
just-shower-thoughts: Every time Wolverine retracts his claws after a kill, he’s pulling bloodborne pathogens directly into his body. If it weren’t for his mutant healing, he’d have full-blown AIDS by now.
just-shower-thoughts: Every time you take a breath, you are 5 minutes away from death. When you breathe again, the clock resets.
just-shower-thoughts: If you watch Godzilla backwards it’s about a dinosaur who passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea
just-shower-thoughts: If I had an identical twin, we would move to opposite ends of the country and tell none of our new friends that we had a twin. Then when one of us dies, the other would attend the funeral and whisper “it’s your fault” to random
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder if I have ever unknowingly set off a chain of events that lead to someone’s death.
just-shower-thoughts: If Kayne’s son ever grows up and writes a song called “North” and performd it at the South by South West music festival, the headline will be “North by North West at South by South West”.
just-shower-thoughts: In 100 years Google street view will be a virtual tour of how we used to live.
just-shower-thoughts:If Hillary Clinton wins two terms as president, 16-year-olds in 2024 will have never had a white male president.
just-shower-thoughts: The seashore is a dumb place for Sally to sell seashells
just-shower-thoughts: My girlfriends name is Brooklyn. No matter where our kids are born… they’ll be from Brooklyn.
just-shower-thoughts: If you know you have a stalker, that stalker isn’t doing a great job.
just-shower-thoughts: If I were a judge, every time someone finished speaking in court I’d yell “Well I’ll be the judge of that.”
just-shower-thoughts: What if aliens visited Earth during the Jurassic Period, found it to be occupied with a bunch of mean, giant lizards and thought “Well, fuck this planet” and never came back?
just-shower-thoughts: “False Information” spelled backwards is “false information”
just-shower-thoughts: When I was a kid I used to prioritize having a cool ringtone. Now I just keep my phone on silent…
just-shower-thoughts: just-shower-thoughts: Are you smelling your boogers every time you breathe? Great, now I’m breathing manually.
just-shower-thoughts: Frozen pizza should be pre-cut in case to bake just a slice
just-shower-thoughts: I think the biggest difference between atheists and religious people is that atheist would change their minds if god proved real, believers would not if god proved inexistent.
just-shower-thoughts: Someone way uglier than you has gotten laid way more than you
just-shower-thoughts: What if genies were real until somebody wished them out of existence? geniecide
just-shower-thoughts:People with anxiety are basically way too aware of being alive
