i i just
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just-shower-thoughts: “Would you rather crash on a friend’s couch or the freeway?” would be a good campaign slogan against drinking and driving.
just-shower-thoughts: Every time Wolverine retracts his claws after a kill, he’s pulling bloodborne pathogens directly into his body. If it weren’t for his mutant healing, he’d have full-blown AIDS by now.
just-shower-thoughts: Every time you take a breath, you are 5 minutes away from death. When you breathe again, the clock resets.
just-shower-thoughts: If you watch Godzilla backwards it’s about a dinosaur who passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea
just-shower-thoughts: If I had an identical twin, we would move to opposite ends of the country and tell none of our new friends that we had a twin. Then when one of us dies, the other would attend the funeral and whisper “it’s your fault” to random
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder if I have ever unknowingly set off a chain of events that lead to someone’s death.
just-shower-thoughts: If Kayne’s son ever grows up and writes a song called “North” and performd it at the South by South West music festival, the headline will be “North by North West at South by South West”.
just-shower-thoughts: In 100 years Google street view will be a virtual tour of how we used to live.
just-shower-thoughts:If Hillary Clinton wins two terms as president, 16-year-olds in 2024 will have never had a white male president.
Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.
just-shower-thoughts: The seashore is a dumb place for Sally to sell seashells
just-shower-thoughts: My girlfriends name is Brooklyn. No matter where our kids are born… they’ll be from Brooklyn.
just-shower-thoughts: If you know you have a stalker, that stalker isn’t doing a great job.
just-shower-thoughts: If I were a judge, every time someone finished speaking in court I’d yell “Well I’ll be the judge of that.”
just-shower-thoughts: What if aliens visited Earth during the Jurassic Period, found it to be occupied with a bunch of mean, giant lizards and thought “Well, fuck this planet” and never came back?
just-shower-thoughts: “False Information” spelled backwards is “false information”
just-shower-thoughts: What if fetishes are inherited genetically but none of us know because we are all too awkward and embarrased to admit them to our families.
just-shower-thoughts: In the Toy Story universe, since the toys are alive that would include the sex toys too…
just-shower-thoughts: People always joke about browsing reddit all day at work, but for the people who work at buzzfeed it probably is their job.
Just a friendly reminder..
just-shower-thoughts: If woman only got pregnant when they orgasm, teen pregnancy wouldn’t be as much of a problem.
just-shower-thoughts: if a woman gets pregant with a boy she will be litterally growing a pair
just-shower-thoughts: Everyone who gets caught in rip-tides and dies in the ocean is technically killed by the moon.
just-shower-thoughts: If two mind readers read each other’s mind, whose mind are they reading?
just-shower-thoughts: Virginity is the one thing in the world where people actively seek someone with zero experience as if that would somehow make them more qualified for the task.
just-shower-thoughts: There are potentially thousands of days in my life that I have forgotten completely and will never recall and I’m not completely sure I’m ok with that.
just-shower-thoughts: An ultrasound is like a teaser trailer for your baby.
just-shower-thoughts: 6.9 is 69 ruined by a period
just-shower-thoughts: Dr. Oz is like the Buzzfeed of doctors.
just-shower-thoughts: We’re likely less than a generation away from the question “Do you smoke?” being generally interpreted as marijuana rather than tobacco.
just-shower-thoughts: Thanks to the internet, I will likely die having seen more unique naked women and men than my entire line of ancestors.
just-shower-thoughts: Earth worms are like dirt submarines
just-shower-thoughts: Eminem should make a line of sunglasses and call them Slim Shadys
just-shower-thoughts: We should change LOL to NE (nose exhale) because that’s all we really do when we see something funny online.
just-shower-thoughts: By having sex, you are continuing your family’s oldest tradition.
just-shower-thoughts: Two people can be born the at the exact same moment on earth, and still have different birthdays.
just-shower-thoughts: Female cockroaches should be called cuntroaches
just-shower-thoughts: In the past, the poor were skinny and the rich were fat. Now it’s the other way around.
just-shower-thoughts: I bet Chick-fil-A is open on Sunday in heaven.
just-shower-thoughts: If other people didn’t tell you how old you are, you wouldn’t know.
just-shower-thoughts: Charlie the tuna is disturbing. He’s selling you tuna and he’s a tuna.
just-shower-thoughts: Fake pockets in women’s pants should be called mockets.
just-shower-thoughts: Premature babies are really the same age as their full-term counterparts, but on paper they’re technically older.
just-shower-thoughts: For a doctor telling a patient they have type 2 diabetes, theres no good way to sugarcoat it.
just-shower-thoughts: If you were able to turn invisible, you’d be blind while using your power because the light would pass right through your invisible retinas.
just-shower-thoughts: Companies like Coke and Visa will immediately cut ties with celebrities who cheat on their wives or say something hateful, but they’re hesitant when it comes to not sponsoring slave labor conditions in Qatar ahead of the World
just-shower-thoughts: Back in the 20th century, people thought of the future as a Jetson-like, happy future. Nowadays, many people imagine the future as a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
just-shower-thoughts:Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game
just-shower-thoughts: “Never Heard of Them” would make a great name for an indie rock band
just-shower-thoughts: In 100 years google maps will have a street view feature called “retro” that will show what towns looked like in 2015
just-shower-thoughts: Because I’m dating the identical twin of one of my coworkers, I can’t tell my friends at work how hot my date is without sexually harassing a colleague by extension.
just-shower-thoughts: In Japan, radiation creates monsters (Godzilla) and in America radiation creates superheroes
just-shower-thoughts: Depression is like when your mind and heart stop loving each other but still eat at the same dinner table together
just-shower-thoughts: 7 billion people experienced this day in a different way
just-shower-thoughts: They really should make two different kinds of NSFW: one for nudity and one for gore
just-shower-thoughts: If you slap Dwayne Johnson’s ass, could you say you’ve hit rock bottom?
just-shower-thoughts: They should make condoms that turn a certain color when you stick them into some STDs
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder….once marijuana is legal….will paranoia still be a side effect….
just-shower-thoughts: Sniffing a flower is essentially taking a whiff of a plants genitals
just-shower-thoughts: Sometimes when I click a link tagged, “NSFW” or “NSFL” and they take more than a few seconds to load, I click back. I feel like that’s the internet’s way of warning to me not to look at whatever it is.
