i just care
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just-uta-things: wallflower-punk97: mikkynga: this will never stop being funny. the girl dressed as the boss is the best is someone dressed as jesus Can we talk about the dude in bondage though.
just-shower-thoughts: if I renovate another house I’m gonna hide a fake skeleton in the wall.
just-shower-thoughts: The perks of being a pessimist are that you’re either right, or pleasantly surprised.
just-shower-thoughts: Jurassic park probably would have been a lot safer if they had used doorknobs instead of door handles.
just-shower-thoughts: There are only two days in our lifetime that aren’t 24 hours long. The day we’re born and the day we die.
just-shower-thoughts: Instagram would be a great name for a drug dealing app
just-shower-thoughts: If someone makes a joke in a dream, your brain came up with that joke.
just-shower-thoughts: Toilet seats should have scales built-in so you know how much weight you lost after going to the bathroom.
just-shower-thoughts: The only difference between teaching and brainwashing is whether or not society approves of the lesson
just-shower-thoughts: If someone is vegan, does cross fit, AND vapes, which one do they bring up first?
just-shower-thoughts: There are only 2 days in your life that are not 24 hours long, the day you die and the day you are born
just-shower-thoughts: If I hit myself and it hurts, am i weak or am i strong?
just-shower-thoughts: Becoming an addict is kind of like watching your hair grow; you don’t really notice anything wrong until you look in the mirror one day and realize that it’s gone too far.
just-shower-thoughts: You would think that after 60 years, microwave oven doors wouldn’t be fucking loud as hell when closed in the middle of the night at 3 in the morning
just-shower-thoughts: The TSA Security Checkpoints in Airports should have USPS Post Offices so you can ship something to yourself in the event you are not allowed to carry it on to the plane
just-shower-thoughts: If we ever end up settling on a planet with low gravity, boobs will stay perkier much longer.
just-shower-thoughts: The word “abbreviation” is really long for what it’s trying to accomplish.
just-shower-thoughts: If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
just-shower-thoughts: Finding a perfect girlfriend is like trying to catch a shiny pokemon, on the rare occasion that you encounter one you won’t have the balls to catch it.
just-shower-thoughts: Incredible and credible are antonyms, but they both have positive connotations.
just-shower-thoughts: 4 pints of beer feels like a small amount of alcohol to drink in an evening. 4 pints of water seems like a hell of alot.
just-shower-thoughts: In a few years, when all of our smartphones are waterproof, we’ll be able to push people in swimming pools again
just-shower-thoughts: My teacher considers the Bible to be more credible than Wikipedia, yet Wikipedia has a citations section.
just-shower-thoughts: Future Me is constantly fucked over by Present Me, who should have learned after being fucked over by Past Me
just-shower-thoughts: We are the first generation where turning something off and on again fixes the problem because we are the first generation where most problems aren’t mechanical. That’s why older generations are always so amazed when we fix
just-shower-thoughts: They should put Richard Nixon on the ũ bill. So I can shove my dirty Dick in a strippers ass.
just-shower-thoughts: Waking up with a hangover is like rebooting in safe mode. The main functions still work, but it’s impossible to get anything else done.
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder if Magic Johnson regrets wasting the worlds best porn name on a basketball career
just-shower-thoughts: I haven’t seen a broken cassette with tape strewn all over the road in years
just-shower-thoughts: A car runs on your money and makes you fat while bicycle runs on your fat and saves your money.
just-shower-thoughts: As a man, I put the toilet seat down every time I need to use it and it never bothers me.
just-shower-thoughts: Teach a Parrot to say Parrot and you basically have a Pokémon
just-shower-thoughts: Getting off is good. Getting Laid is good. Getting laid off is bad.
just-shower-thoughts: I will never know what my own handshake feels like.
just-shower-thoughts: “You’re” in English is an abbreviation of “you are” and is commonly confused with the possessive “your”. “T'es” in French is an abbreviation for “tu es” (you are) and is commonly confused with the possessive
just-shower-thoughts: Whether the glass is half-full or half-empty depends on whether you’re filling or drinking it.
just-shower-thoughts: Today’s date is 2²/3²/4².
just-shower-thoughts: ‘If you try to fit in, you will disappear’ life lessons from the game TETRIS
just-shower-thoughts: At the store I can exchange legal tender for chicken tender
just-shower-thoughts: I can pet my dog for hours but rubbing my girlfriend’s back is the most boring thing in the world…
just-shower-thoughts: Gender neutral washrooms have existed under the alias “family washrooms” for years.
just-shower-thoughts: If I teach my parents something, they’re learning from their mistake.
just-shower-thoughts: “When I was a kid, I asked my mom to buy me something and she responded by saying that when I have a job, I can buy whatever I wanted. Now that I have a job, I still can’t buy what I want.”
just-shower-thoughts: When you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed room, but less bedroom.
just-shower-thoughts: The author of the book “American Psycho” received death threats “over the violence depicted in his writing”. That means that someone, somewhere, was bothered by violence in a book and responded by literally threatening to
just-shower-thoughts: I don’t know how many times someone’s tried to get my attention unsuccessfully.
just-shower-thoughts: I wonder if uTorrent realises that you can download uTorrent Pro using the normal uTorrent.
Just a girl & her bike
just-shower-thoughts: You get taxed on what you earn, and then again on what you spend it on.
just-shower-thoughts: Democracy is dangerous if the populace are uneducated.
just-shower-thoughts: When Stan Lee dies, all Marvel actors and actresses should dress up in character and attend his funeral.
just-shower-thoughts: Before making any promise to a girl, masturbate twice. It may change your opinion.
just-shower-thoughts: Science progresses by proving itself wrong. Religions progress by eliminating non-believers.
just-shower-thoughts: I wish taco trucks worked like ice cream trucks. I’d run out every single time I heard the mariachi music.
just-shower-thoughts: Children swear all the time. Adults swear all the time. However, mix these two groups, and suddenly everyone pretends swearing is awful and they would never ever do such thing.
just-shower-thoughts: I hate preparing, but I love being prepared.
just-shower-thoughts: If I could swap the urge to masturbate and the urge to work out I could be competing in World’s Strongest Man by next Tuesday
