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“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s execution.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put your fingers.”
“Cerise isn’t the only thing that will drain you. You should see my purple shirt.” Submitted by Emily (no username).
“I would ensure your husband’s death in Florida just to be with you.”
“You’re my popular choice at the moment, dear.”
“I’m not your housekeeper. The only thing of yours I want to keep is your love.”
“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.”
“The skull on the mantle isn’t the only bone I’d like to take.”
“You are more eloquent than dust.”
“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but me wearing nothing at all is a must-see.”
“A nice murder normally cheers me up, but it seems like you’ve brightened my day already.â€Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.â€
“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t be talking because my mouth will be preoccupied.â€
“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.â€
“Yes, I am having an earthquake. You shake up my world.”
“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask you out.”
The best of The Lying Detective pick-up lines, based on number of notes.