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“Flicking isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to your face.”
“I’d love you even if you only befriended me to get to my blackmailing boss.”
“You don’t need to YouTube to see my exotic dancing.”
“I’d keep your chair even if it was blocking my view to the kitchen.”
“Undercover about my feelings for you? WELL I’M NOT NOW!”
“Are you the East Wind? Because I’d let you take me in the end… in the rear end, that is.”
Hey, followers! I hope you’re all having a wonderful Easter because I am having the worst Easter of my life and it is a goddamn miracle I was even able to put this comic together.
“Are you a complete flake who happens to be a genius? Because you are unbelievably hot!”
“I’ve got some pictures for you as a treat… And I’m not talking about the ones I showed Archie.”
“I’d let you catch me in a compromising position… and I’m not talking about being on the treadmill.”
“My cock is good for more than just peeing in fireplaces.”
“You may have made my arm squishy, but you’ve made something else of mine rock hard.”
“I don’t think we should wear hats… unless you mean the other kind of hat.”
“Forget Appledore… Make me your Applewhore.”
The best of the villains, from BBC Sherlock Pick-Up Lines (excluding Moriarty because otherwise he’d be the entire photoset).
“Let’s do a procedure where the participants tend to know each other and it’s over when one of them’s dead… No, I’m not talking about murder.”
“I don’t just do it doggy style– I do it Redbeard style.”
“Even if you told me that the Western world is run from a single house, I’d still want to talk about dinner.”
“I bet I can make you come in less the time Sherlock’s exile took.”
“Girl, are your initials A.G.R.A.? Because you are Amazing, Gorgeous, Radiant, and Adorable.”
“The game is never over. I want to play with you forever.”
“I bet wearing Claire-de-la-Lune and being blackmailed by Magnussen isn’t all we have in common.”
“I’d let you contaminate my ‘crime scene.’” Submitted by anonymous.
“Are you London? Because I want to get to know you and breathe in every quiver of your beating heart.”
“You make me Claire-de-la-Swoon.”
“I need condoms so big, people call me Charles Augustus Magnum-sen.”
“Appearing in my mind palace while I’m unconscious? I believe that makes you the man of my dreams.”
Work it, Mummy Holmes! Happy Mother’s Day, followers <3
“Knowing is owning, but that’s not why I want to get to know you.”
“I could never bear to argue with you, even if I wasn’t something of a moron.”
“Maybe I won’t shave for Sherlock, but I’d definitely shave for you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Those things’ll kill you… I know what you should put in your mouth instead.”
“I’ll be your housekeeper… Maybe I’ll exotic dance for you too.” Submitted by anonymous.
“I would never tell you to get out of my head when I’m busy.” Submitted by anonymous.
“The whole world is wet to my touch, and it’s not because of my sweating condition.”
“I’d have another row with the chip and PIN machine for you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“Forget faking my genius… Want to see a different sort of magic trick?” Based on a suggestion by anonymous.
“My penis is a dagger– a scalpel wielded with precision and without remorse.”
“Becoming a figment of my mind palace isn’t the only way to get inside of me.”
“Not sure about having chemistry with me? Don’t worry, I’m an excellent chemist.”
“Us meeting couldn’t be coincidence. The universe is rarely so lazy.”
“I would never put the doorbell in the fridge if you were the one ringing it.”
“Without you, I get so bored that I start shooting walls.”
“My mouth is big enough for fourteen cigarettes. Wanna see what else can fit in it?”
“Let’s have quite a lot of sex.”
“Wanna see my Sher-cock?”
“I would jump out of a cake for you even if I wasn’t revealing that I faked my death.”
“People like you deserve to be kissed. That’s why there are people like me.”
“I love you more than Sherlock loves dancing.”
“I still love you even though your mustache doesn’t rub off.”
“The Headless Nun was only headless because she hadn’t met me… I’m excellent at giving head.”
“I would let you call me Sherl.”
“The game is something, but you are everything.”
“I know you’re not some character from Lord of the Rings, because I honestly care what you think.”
“My friendship isn’t the only thing that can give you warmth and constancy.”
Happy Father’s Day, everyone! (And thanks to my friend Jess for suggesting that today’s comic be a dad joke, hahaha.)
“If I was looking for a friend in a drug den, I wouldn’t just be browsing– I’d be looking for you.”
“You give me life, and not just because Lazarus is go.”
“I would never tell you to f-cough.”
“I would propose to you even if I didn’t need to break into your boss’s office.”
