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“I heard you lost your job fantasizing about me coming back to life… Don’t worry, I’ve got a different kind of ‘job’ you can do.”

“My detective skills aren’t the only gifts I was born with.”

“You make a really hot Guy, and I’m not just talking about the Fawkes effigy.”

“Forget the H– let’s talk about the D.”

“I’d like to discover your ‘pressure points,’ if you get what I mean.”

“My jumpers aren’t the only thing about me with depth and complexity.”

“You’re my popular choice at the moment, dear.”

“I want you to fill my ‘Empty Hearse.’” Submitted by jadziabear.

“Can I buy you a drink? 443.7 milliliters of drink, that is.”

“You don’t need to hide a blade in my belt in order to penetrate me.”

“The ‘elephant in the room’ is my penis.”

“Without you, my heart feels hollower than Jack Griffin’s suit.”

“Sherlock and Moriarty aren’t the only ones I have a theory about.”

“I don’t care how you fell in love with me… I want to know why.”

“You don’t need your mind palace to know my porn preference.”

“I’m a high-functioning sociopath… Can I be a high-functioning sociopath with your number?”

“My left hat bobble isn’t the only thing I’d like to chew on.”

“Forget the egg chair… You should sitty thing on my face.”

Happy Valentine’s Day! I decided to give this one to Mystrade in honor of them finally sharing a scene together (and because it was the most requested ship from you guys).

The best of series three (so far!) from BBC Sherlock Pick-Up Lines. Happy Valentine’s Day, Tumblr! May you all get lots and lots of kisses, chocolate or otherwise <3

“Call me Shezza, because I’m going undercover… Under your covers, that is.”

“I would sprain a junkie’s arm for you.”

“I’d let you make me wear the hat.”

“Call me Redbeard, because I like it ruff.”

“I want to do you on the tableâ€¦ On the Periodic Table hanging in your bedroom, that is.”

“I was so scared of you leaving me that I started doing napkin origami.”

“I’d like to get to know you as well as I know ash.”

“My love for you exceeds the amount of laptops Sherlock has.”

“I’d like to compromise the integrity of your ‘crime scene.’”

“Am I horny too? I haven’t checked.”

“How about you get off that treadmill and come be my date to the Watson wedding?”

“You make me uncomprehending in the face of myself.”

“You taste better than eyeball coffee.”

“You don’t need to use your mind palace to see me in a straight jacket.”

“I’d like to ‘project’ my face onto your 'building.’”

“I love you for your brain, and I’m not referring to Helen Louise.”

“An east wind isn’t the only thing that’s coming.”

“Let’s go bar hopping for a couple hours and then cuddle on the stairs.”

“Can I whisper how much I love you? NOT REALLY!”

“I learned Serbian in a couple hours. Want to see how quickly I can get to know your tongue?”

“Are you 051113? Because you just blew me away.”

“I’m sorry I came back from the dead with a French accent. Next time I tell you big news I’ll give you something else French.”

“Stop kicking that tire… I know a better way to get your frustration out.”

“I promise not to be a Mayfly Man with you.”

“When I said ‘I’m just going to whip this out,’ I didn’t mean my detective equipment.” (Inspired by this post.)

“Let’s be Oklahomos together.” (If you haven’t seen it yet…)

“The lack of a ring when you slapped me isn’t the only reason I’m glad your engagement’s over.”

“A tire lever isn’t the only thing in my pants that’s a tiny bit sexy.”

“Forget the limits– let’s all three dance.”

“The door knocker isn’t the only thing I won’t let my brother turn straight.”

“I’d like to corrupt your ‘magnetic strip.’”

“I think you’re funnier than Lord Smallwood’s letters.”

“Forget solving crimes– I could use you as an alternative to getting high.”

“Don’t worry, I’m no London ambulance. I take longer than eight minutes to come.”

“Call me the Clarence House Cannibal, because I’d like a taste of you.”

“Come with me and your teapot collection won’t be the only thing getting wet.” Based on a suggestion by scripturientjester.

“I’m sorry you miss Redbeard… If you need a dog, I’ll put on a collar for you.” Based on a suggestion by scripturientjester.

“You be the potatoes and I’ll be Mycroft’s laptop… Get on top of me.”

“Forget folding my shirts and cycling to work– I’d rather wear no clothes and ride you.”

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