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“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.”
“Are you frequenting cafes? Because you are smoking.”
“Are you Mr. Summerson? Because I’d like to fondle your testicles.”
“If you be my goldfish, I promise to keep you plenty wet.”
“You’re the West to my Wood.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“I always hear ‘suck my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.” Submitted by Courtney (no username).
“My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me orgasm.”
“Why don’t you play Operation with me instead? You’ll never have to handle a broken heart.”
“You’re hotter than The Dynamics of Combustion.”
“Lestrade? More like Lust-rade.”
“Which hurt more: When you fell from Bart’s or when you fell from Heaven?”
“Let’s multiply like Bluebell.”
“Forget Andrew West’s missile plans… The real missile is the one in my pants.”
“I bet I can make you thirstier than Greg alone at a wedding.”
Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate), Tumblr! Here is the source for the “missile toe” image.
“You don’t need to be Kate Middleton for me to treat you like royalty.”
“What’s your star sign? I don’t know mine because I deleted the solar system.”
“I hope our relationship lasts longer than John’s mustache.”
The best of “Shezza,” from bbcsherlockpickuplines.
Happy new year, Tumblr! Hope it’s not meretricious ;) I made this late at night so it might not be funny now, but I dunno– I think the world might actually be a better place with Mrs. Hudson ruling it.
The top 10 pick-up lines of 2014. Happy new year from bbcsherlockpickuplines!
Your admin ran out of photoset ideas for this week, so here’s the Random Sexy Extra from The Blind Banker 10 times.
“You’re the only cabbie whose head is not the only thing I want to see.” Submitted by unicorn-enthusiast.
“Is recreational scolding your division?”
“You don’t have to show me beheadings to get a hug from me.”
“Lestrade will find his division before I find someone better than you.”
“I may not be Uncle Rudy, but I’ll cross-dress for you if that’s what you’re into.”
“I know your friends don’t all hate you. I only wrote that essay so I could have you all to myself.”
“I would date a sociopath just to make you wonder if it was serious.”
“You are a man, and good at it… but I think you’d be even better at being my man.”
“I want to be your boyfriend more than Sherlock wanted to be a pirate.”
“I want to be the first one you call for after waking up from being drugged by a dominatrix.”
“Let’s get on your laptop and look at something other than John’s blog.”
“May I twist and diffuse your hair?”
“Are you Mary Morstan? Because those pants look so good on you, you’re putting the ass in assassin… twice.”
“I’m not a dragon for you to slay… I’m a dragon for you to lay.”
“Why have a goldfish when you can have a silver fox?”
“My mind palace can’t even contain how much I think about you.”
“Because you know I’m all about that case, ‘bout that case.”
“You’ve seen what these fingernails can do to a wood floor… Would you like me to leave some claw marks on your back?”
“I would take off my clothes for you even if it was going to kill me.”
“I don’t know about Sherlock, but I know exactly where to look.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Do you like solving crimes? Because I’ve got a vacancy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Brainy’s the new sexy, but your looks are just old fashioned sexy.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. I guess I’m a loser now.” Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“Judging by the turn-ups on your jeans, you’d be a pretty good father to my children.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“So, you say you’re on fire… Sounds like you need my hose.”Suggested by someone I know in real life, who doesn’t have a Tumblr and is too embarrassed to take credit for the idea anyway.
“I would blow up your wall to get to you.”Suggested by my dad, who doesn’t have a Tumblr.
“I’d rip your clothes off in a darkened swimming pool even if people would talk.”Submitted by amylemoymoy.
“I’d love your mind even if it wasn’t a palace.”
“We should go clubbing together. And I don’t mean going to the Diogenes Club.”
“My death may have been fake, but my love for you is real.”
“I would love you even if you stabbed my hand with a fork.”
“I can’t keep my eyes off of you… so I’m upgrading your surveillance status to grade three active.”
“I would stop your cab just to welcome you to London.”
“Why keep your eyeballs in the microwave when you can keep them on me?”
“The skull on the mantle isn’t the only bone I’d like to take.”
“You don’t need to pay £2,995 to be my V.I.P.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, followers! My love for you all is… immortal ;)
“Take me up against the Reichenbach Wall.”
