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“If you’re a hedgehog, can I be your hedge?”
Okay, I found Moran, you guys!
“So, you’re a sniper? Just how good is your aim in bed?” Submitted by anonymous.
“Beg for mercy twice? …Please, I won’t stop there.” Submitted by j-abberwocky.
“I like the ball that I brought to Bart’s, but I’d much rather play with your balls.”
“You had me at ‘How fresh?’” Submitted by mykittyisbeautiful.
“Let me unwrap you like this mercury-laced candy.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I’m what people DO!”
“Will you be my live-in normal?”
“You had me at ‘Afghanistan or Iraq?’” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I suggest we do that thing where two people who like each other go out and have fun.”
“Wanna know how I suddenly became Mr. Sex?”
“I would ‘coordinate’ with you and a pair of handcuffs in a dark alley anytime.”
“Why do I need to know about the solar system? It’s wrong anyway; my world revolves around you.” Submitted by turtleplz.
“I didn’t need five minutes to feel that we had a special something.”
“I may not be your brother’s handler, but I’ll do everything you tell me to.”
“I have an app that can steal anything… including your heart.”
“Forget using Anthea– I’d much rather come abduct you myself.”
“I’d wait for you even if you kept me as long as Mofftiss kept the Sherlockians.”
“Let’s meet at the rooftop instead of the pool. You’ve got to admit that’s sexier.”
“Forget outliving four people– let me show you the most fun you can have with or without an aneurysm.”
“I like your strong moral principle and nerves of steel, and that’s not just the shock talking.”
“I would care if your life was at stake, even if it didn’t help save you.”
“You are far more than a seven, therefore I would leave the flat for you.”
“Mrs. Hudson, are you trying to seduce me?”
“How do you feel about Hamish for a baby name?”
“I love you more than John Watson loves jumpers.” Submitted by rightinthefangirl.
“You are more indispensable than my homeless network.”
“When people call me a freak, they mean in bed.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
Submitted by curlyfoureyes: So I came to check out the shimejis aaaaand this was what was waiting for me. This is why governments are corrupt, people. They accept “favors” from terrorists.
“Why should you choose me? Well, I am my own least irritating officer.”
“Nice measurements. How about letting me see them on your real body?”
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“I could definitely tell your body from ‘not your face.’ Want me to prove it?” Submitted by anonymous.
“I may lower the I.Q. of the whole street, but I also raise the libidos of the whole city.”
“I’d like to fiddle with you when I’m thinking– and I’m not talking about playing the violin.” Inspired by this (source unknown).
“I would sniff your second hand smoke even if I wasn’t going through cigarette withdrawals.”
“I only pick up other guys because Mycroft orders me to. You’re the one I’m sexting.” Based on a suggestion by tophatsandfedoras, who wanted Anthea sexting.
“I want to grow old, retire, and study bees with you.”
“Are you holding my heart at gunpoint? Because I think I’m falling for you.” Submitted by anonymous.
“I would go on three dates with you even if you turned out to be a gay, consulting criminal.”
Aw, thanks :) I suppose it’s fine if anyone ever shows it to Benedict or Martin– if they’re okay with the fanfiction, they should definitely be okay with this blog! (Actually, I think someone did send some of these to Martin on Valentine
“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”
“Forget the lipstick-matching present– let’s unwrap you.” Submitted by tophatsandfedoras.
“I don’t care if you boast a lot– I’ll still tell you bedtime stories.”
“I’m crazy for you, and not in a Project H.O.U.N.D. kind of way.” One of my real-life friends suggested a “crazy for you” line with Henry a long time ago, but I can’t remember which one, sooooo… This is me not
“I don’t have to die if I’ve got you– and believe me, I will have you.”
“I would wait a year and a half just to serenade you with my Bee Gees ringtone.”
“I would buy you a deerstalker even if the rest of Scotland Yard didn’t pitch in.”
