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My wife texted me at 3:10 after she left the club, and  said that she was just leaving, then a couple hours later when I hadn’t heard from her I knew that she was having some fun. So I texted her and asked if she was having fun.
My wife told me her boss had spanked her and I just blushed. Then she added that he had raised her skirt to do it and I just looked at her unable to say a thing. Shortly after, she said that it was obvious I wasn’t going to do anything about what she
Your boss told you in a low voice, “I’ve noticed that your wife isn’t wearing panties,” and then, without waiting for your reply, he told your wife. “I just have told your husband that you aren’t wearing any underwear and he said that maybe
neitherheavenorhell: “Augustus Waters,” I said, looking up at him, thinking that you cannot kiss anyone in the Anne Frank House, and then thinking that Anne Frank, after all, kissed someone in the Anne Frank House, and that she would probably
When you and your cute little friend wanted to have a sleepover, I said that was just fine and then explained that bedtime meant bedtime.When I checked on you ten minutes after bedtime what did I find? Where I expected to see two cute, snoozing little
shailenewoodleydaily: “Augustus Waters,” I said, looking up at him, thinking that you cannot kiss anyone in the Anne Frank House, and then thinking that Anne Frank, after all, kissed someone in the Anne Frank House, and that she would probably like
Me, loving Matt’s new glow up in the new season: :DMe, then realizing that after he thought that his baby sister had DIED, wanted to remember her so he probably grew his hair out like she used to have to do so: D:
anekie: givemeajobplease: This was a man, dressed as a plant, making pigeon noises at people walking by. I said hello, asked if it was okay to take his picture, and then asked why he was dressed as a plant. He said, “I’m just working through some
blobfossy: thegang-bangtheory: living the dream I watched this episode they had like a truck full of potatoes and dumped them down a hill and said that’s how many potatoes you consume in a year and she cried and then ran inside and ate more cheesy
fishingboatproceeds: tfiosmovienews: “Augustus Waters,” I said, looking up at him, thinking that you cannot kiss anyone in the Anne Frank House, and then thinking that Anne Frank, after all, kissed someone in the Anne Frank House, and that
googlebus: remember when they killed Brian on family guy and people got tattoos that said “rip brian” and then they brought him back like a week later. Remember when people got family guy tattoos. Those were the best days of my life
hospitalvespers: i don’t really care that much about anime, i saidi don’t really have any ships in anything we’ll fuckin’ see about that, said yowapeda, crushing me with a bike and then running up a hill screaming about abs
m-azing: I would actually LOVE if a writer said something like “actually, I did not write any gay characters in my story, and I did not realize it until you pointed this out. now that I’ve been given a chance to really think about why there ARENT
sweet-bitsy: awwww-cute: An Australian Blue Heeler goes to sleep on top of the flock it has herded THIS IS IT THIS IS THE POST THAT KILLED ME BECAUSE AFTER A LONG DAY OF HERDING SHEEP, THIS PUPPY HERE HERDED WITH ALL ITS MIGHT AND THEN SAID YOU KNOW
shegsybellsshegsybells: emmagraceful: so my baby nephew just pointed at the wireless router and said “what that emmie?” and I said “that’s the internet!” because I didn’t really know how to explain it and then he kissed it the child is
shegsybellsshegsybells: emmagraceful: so my baby nephew just pointed at the wireless router and said “what dat emmie?” and I said “that’s the internet!” because I didn’t really know how to explain it and then he kissed it the child is the
masturbatingklaine: At dinner my family and I were watching TV and there was a guy on it and I was like “I know him from somewhere!” and I couldn’t figure out where I knew him from and then it that said he was a gay porn star and dinner suddenly
fauxliviaruinedu2: And then Charlie walks over. This man that I didn’t know – this gruff guy. And… he said… “you’re gonna be fine.”[ anon asked for a charlie francis appreciation post ]
In “Rose’s Room”, after Pearl shuts off the wailing stone she says “Amethyst, I told you not to turn it on in the house!”, which means they had a specific conversation about it in which Pearl said, probably repeatedly, to
shikai-of-the-4th-world replied to your post: anonymous said:how old r u then26 You don’t look it though, you have such a young face! haha, I suppose I do! I’m also kinda short so people always think I’m much younger than I am. Sometimes
Yesterday I showed my little sister the teaser trailer for Zootopia and she loved it. She was so excited, and then disappointed that it’s not coming out until next year.She also said “My favorite part was at the end when it said ‘Like nothing
My little sister says her favorite part was when Garnet said “We’ll talk” to Peridot but then Peridot “said that insult” and Garnet was like “OK, let’s kick her butt”
someone asked if we’d be seeing Rainbow Quartz, or a version of them, again, and Rebecca started to answer (saying something like it being different) and then said “Wait, for get I said that” and then just said “good question”
I’m sure I’ve said this before but while SU is full of so many amazing singers who’ve yet to sing that I’d absolutely love to hear, I’d most love to hear a song from Connie’s mom ‘cause Mary E. McGlynn has been one of my all-time favorite
silissu: who ever said that making friends online is easier is a liar
someone called me a “pussy ass mercy” bc i wouldn’t stay still for them to kill me
chellzaintshit: strivingking: Why I was just talking to this nigga right….lol and he just met this girl or whatever… and he said that the girl told him that she had 35 bodies when he asked and then I said, “How do you even get a girl to admit
lagonegirl: lagonegirl: I like that at one point in 2002 they sent her eviction notices and then said they were sent by mistake and she could live rent free for the remainder of her life.
thats-slightly-raven: My dad just dropped a bowl of pasta on the floor and it went everywhere, and he stared at it for like 5 minutes, sighed and then said ‘sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead’ and then he walked off without
chroniclesofpanem: my biggest problem with watching tv shows is when a character orders a meal and then eats only a few bites of it and then gets so distracted by the conflict that’s happening in the show that they leave the meal just there like bro
asskawa: Ushijima reminds me of those people you have to explain jokes to and then don’t even laugh after. Or the kind who ruin jokes by saying something stupid like “what..that’s impossible, chickens don’t cross roads they live on farms”
“No, Lily, I’m not going to tie you up during your special project. If that’s something you want me to do, we’ll have to do it another time,” said Mr. Crude.Lily hopped up from the chair and quickly removed her cardigan and dress and then said, “So,
jan-klaasen: Lily tasted the mixture, thought a moment and then said, “It’s missing something.” She thought another moment and then looked at Mr. Crude and exclaimed, “Oh! I know what it needs!”“What’s that?” he asked.“A load of your
Sabrina glanced over at Mr. Crude and asked, “Do you mind if I take off this bra, old man?”He looked at her, chuckled and answered, “Do you really have to ask that, young lady?”She giggled and then said, “Then I guess I don’t have to ask
Niece winked at Mr. Crude and then said, “If somebody wanted to, he could tie me up with this cord and then take advantage of me.”He smiled at her and replied, “Huh. Imagine that!” and then he snatched the cord from her and tied her hands behind
“Lily pushed open the door to Mr. Crude’s office, paused a moment and then asked, "Is this a good time?”He chuckled and then said, “That depends on what you want.”Lily blushed and replied, “Oh, I’m pretty
Athena sat on her bed, smiled at Mr. Crude and then said, “I’m thinking I should probably start with the special project for a ‘C’ and then work my way up. That’s allowed, isn’t it?”“It’s not only
“From the inside, thinking of her best interests, I hope that things settle down for Jessica, and that she finds somebody who will love her and take care of her and understand her. But from the outside, as an actor playing her, and as a fan of
multifandomworld: “‘Augustus Waters’ I said, looking up at him, thinking that you cannot kiss anyone in the Anne Frank, and then thinking that Anne Frank, after all, kissed someone in the Anne Frank house, and that she would probably like
dragonflyonbreak96: Alex Hirsch said that Bill Cipher is not the cause of the weirdness in Gravity Falls and that it would be the way it is with or without him. However, it’s weirdness is what attracts Bill to the town and why he likes it so much.
operativesurprise: keplercryptids: keplercryptids: I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian,
ludacrisnt: my friend found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and so they went on a date today and she just stared into space for a few seconds and then said “i had a vision” and then paused and said “it was that we weren’t in a relationship
WHO’S THAT POKEMON?! So yeah I wake up late as hell and see some shit about mega evolution Pokemon all over my dashboard. I’m like this is pretty cool but w/e and then I saw Absol. It started as simple fan art but then I said fuck it
fleurotica: yesterday my dad hugged me out of the blue and told me how proud he was of me and how glad he is ive turned out the way i have and then today he looked at me and said you’re so lucky n i was like what and he said that you can wear no make
Someone at work asked what I did today and I said nm, when in reality I’ve been eating jelly beans and editing my porn all day
![fauxliviaruinedu2: And then Charlie walks over. This man that I didn’t know – this gruff guy. And… he said… “you’re gonna be fine.”[ anon asked for a charlie francis appreciation post ]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c09424fa5e854131dc1b428c1cdee703/tumblr_nrp4fbU6Ru1upg6wqo5_r2_250.gif)
