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“If convenient, meet me in my bedroom. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“You could never repel me.”
“I’d like to occupy a ‘minor’ position in your bedroom.”
“Will you join my football team and raise five children with me?”
“You can X-ray my possessions if you want.”
“If we were at a restaurant together, I wouldn’t deny that you were my date.”
“Would you like to go round and round the garden like a teddy bear with me?”
“If you’d let me, I’d twiddle you all day and night.”
“If there was a fire, you’d be my priority exposed.”
“Being without each other… Isn’t it hateful?”
“If you think my cheekbones are prominent, just wait until you see the bone in my pants.”
“I would have dinner with you even if I wasn’t hungry.”
“I never want to say ‘LATERZ!’ to you.”
“I think you’re really brainy. And I mean that in the new sense of the word.”
“Wanna see firsthand what my purple shirt is made of?”
“I would let you take me hostage even if you didn’t have a gun pointed at my head.”
“Who cares about decent? I am turned on!”
“I’m inside you with my umbrella.”
“I would sponsor a serial killer just to get your attention.”
“Want me to make you moan like my text alert?”
“I’d like to get some from you… And I’m not talking about cigarettes.”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“Would you let me come into your ‘cab’ with my 'harpoon’?”
“Will you be my division?”
“I would drink your coffee even if the sugar was drugged.”
“If you were my holiday, I wouldn’t need to fancy another one.”
“My dick is so huge, my doggy style is referred to as Baskerville Hound style.”
“My chemical defect for you could never put me on the losing side.”
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend then? I’ll have you either way. It’s all fine.”
“Yes, I said that the laptop was in THE bedroom. No, that wasn’t a typo.”
“If I met you at work, I’d totally leave my number under a dish.”
“You make me go ‘Oh my GAAAAAWD!’ more than a hydraulic bed.”
“I’d hit that 1895 times.”
“I can shoot it so far, not even Vatican Cameos will save you.”
“It’s a good thing I find breathing boring, because you take my breath away.”
“Shall I show you the code to my safe?”
“I regret deleting the solar system, because you are out of this world.”
“I’ll be the knife and you be the Cluedo board: Let me pin you against the wall.”
“I won’t just be mother– I’ll be a MILF.”
“Do I want to see some more of you? Oh, God yes.”
“I wanted to be a pirate so I could get at your booty.”
“I would chase you all over London even if my limp wasn’t psychosomatic.”
“Mind if I stick my ‘umbrella’ in your 'division’?”
“Are you for men? Because I’d like to wear you… on my penis.”
“The flirting’s not over. I could never have enough of you.”
“Want to see what else I keep hidden in my bra?”
“I would take your hand even if we weren’t handcuffed fugitives.”
“I’m not just a woman– I’m the Woman woman!”
“I know you don’t want anything, but I bet I can change your mind.”
“Shall we play doctor? Army doctor, that is.”
“I may be on a diet, but I’d still lick your ‘frosting.’”
“You. Me. Three continents. How about it?”
“England would fall if you left me.”
“It’s going to take more than three patches to cure my addiction to you.”
“You are really my area.”
“I would dress for you the way I dress going to Buckingham Palace.”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but riding crops excite me.”
“I would make you scream my name even if we were in the Diogenes Club.”
“I’d go on a second date with you even if we got kidnapped by Chinese smugglers during our first.”
“Oh, so the Internet thinks you look like an otter? Well, I think you otter be in my bed.”
