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Do you think I spent ages getting my makeup perfect for date night with my husband just so that I could listen to how his week had been? I can tell you now how his weekend will be. Not having the orgasm he dreamed of all week. Caption Credit: Uxorious

yupitsrex: tylerchokely: dont push bitch can we just acknowledge how smooth that trip was like he must be a professional tripper or something Haha listening to Heartless by Kanye West was perfect for this. How could you be so heartless. Lmfaoo

fucked-up-dream: I’ve always loved this one.

linhcinderella: 5/100 MOVIES: sorcerer’s stone “Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. “We have a witch in the family. Isn’t it wonderful?”

boojimgettys: Elvis Presley, c. 1956. how could one man be so perfect i love you so much

aintalwaysbroken: unintentionally goofy girls that ramble on and on about things while you just stare at them in utter amazement and fondness, because how could such a cute awkward human be so beautifully perfect. Ugh, thisssss 😍😩

linhcinderella: 5/100 MOVIES: sorcerer’s stone “Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. “We have a witch in the family. Isn’t it wonderful?”

aintalwaysbroken: unintentionally goofy girls that ramble on and on about things while you just stare at them in utter amazement and fondness, because how could such a cute awkward human be so beautifully perfect.

medicalpassionhot:This could be the perfect shoe for naughty patients. Unable to go anywhere… You know how I love seeing you in heels, so I got you this handy new trainer. Now it’s like you’re in stilettos all the time so you’ll get

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