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daughterlover: “But Daddy, I thought Mom said you had to stop touching me!” “And that’s why for now I’m not touching you sweetie. I have to say, I’m pretty pleased with the alternative I’ve come up with. Maybe don’t Mom about this, okay?”
bmarg12387: I came home and found my roommate sitting there with his pants down stronking his cock slowly with two fingers saying WoW I never realized before how gorgeous my ccock is. I said louis are you alright I thought you were out on a date with
lonelytreestump:shasta-brah:and-you-thought-you-knew-me:yooooooDude.i take back every bad thing ive ever said about baseball BATTERS UP NICEEEEE
lonelytreestump: shasta-brah: and-you-thought-you-knew-me: yoooooo Dude. i take back every bad thing ive ever said about baseball
lovethefamly: I woke up during the night and felt that someone was about to suck my dick. -Mmmmmm, I thought you had gone home! I said, and lifted the covers. But there was not my girlfriend, it was my mom who had just returned home from a party, she
abbygubler: thesummerbreak: dear @summerbreak, we want you. for some reason I thought thsi said and set me on fire and i was honestly going to watch whatever the fuck this is
Sorry, I didn’t realize this was a coed sauna, I said. Oh, it isn’t, she says… I’m your masseuse, and I thought we could get to know each other a little bit, and get all hot together, I hope you don’t mind?
incorrect48quotes:Mio: Meru, I thought you were focusing on the grill.Meru, checking Jiina out: Exactly, Mio. I’m focusing totally and completely on the girl.Mio: I said grill, not girl!Meru: The grill? Again?! (Sees fire and screams) Fire!
withthehungercatchers: youngfools: the-real-gretchen-wieners: awhaddup: 203y:lonelytreestump: shasta-brah:and-you-thought-you-knew-me:yoooooo Dude. i take back every bad thing ive ever said about baseball this is some fucking beat shit SHHHEEIIT
liambringmethepayne: liambringmethepayne: bloodcavern: what if you went outside and saw slender man what would you do tobey maguire or andrew garfield i thought this said spider man please ignore me
jonathanegbert: i’m so glad nobody on tumblr is really in any powerful positions because you’re all so whiny and immature that you would probably launch a war because one guy in a country said he thought daniel tosh was funny.
dxrekhxle: once in the fifth grade this kid called me a homo and i thought it meant homeless and i was so confused i said ‘jeremy you’ve been to my house’
jasper-rolls: jasper-rolls: saccharinescorpion: jasper-rolls: you: im really surprised that jontron turned out to be a racist me: *thought bubble appears above my head and inside it is the game grumps video where he just said the n-word repeatedly*
gemofsphene: “Did you mean what you said last night about friendship? Are we friends? I mean, I thought I was only ever going to be friends with other gothic people, and gothic people don’t really have friends. Just Dark Acquaintances in the Black
lonelytreestump:shasta-brah:and-you-thought-you-knew-me:yooooooDude.i take back every bad thing ive ever said about baseball
wonderfulworldofmichaelford: blackjackgabbiani: deadddeviant: official-mugi: sinonyx: I thought that said “You will never be succed by a Snake” and it made me sad because I’m like “Thanks for reminding me Snake isn’t real and can’t
lonelytreestump:shasta-brah:and-you-thought-you-knew-me:yooooooDude. i take back every bad thing ive ever said about baseball
i-dream-of-twilight-sparkle: I’d like them to keep their thoughts when changing them at any rate. I think making them Foals would be a bit much, hoping this is enough. Also I know that you said for some reason you didn’t want me and Luna being de-aged.
fuckyeahlizprince: (via Liz Prince Power » Comics » still got it)
My dog accidentally bit me so I pointed to the bite and said “that hurt” and she sneezed on it and left
In “Rose’s Room”, after Pearl shuts off the wailing stone she says “Amethyst, I told you not to turn it on in the house!”, which means they had a specific conversation about it in which Pearl said, probably repeatedly, to
twentyonedreamers: the weirdest thing someone has said to me recently was “you know you’re not supposed to wear the bands shirt to the concert.”why not? am I supposed to be playing hard to get with the band? like im at the show, they know i like
I’m surprised I haven’t gotten any asks about how Amethyst said “I love you, Pearl!” when chasing her to hug her when covered in goop. I know she was just fooling around and harassing Pearl but I thought it was really cute, considering the Gems
decepticooch: when i was little and played pokemon g/s for the first time my rival was named “???” because he says “my name is ???” and the cop asks you what his name was and i thought if i didnt answer right i would be arrested so i just said
I notice alotta young girls…(notice i said girls not women…there is a difference)…thats their whole shit. “ Oohh you can’t handle me” …im a savage” and so and so. did they ever consider that theres actually men out
stephythompson: You said that you wanted my little pleat skirt to be shorter today. So when I got back from work I thought I’d try and do as told Miss <3
the-real-gretchen-wieners: awhaddup: 203y:lonelytreestump: shasta-brah:and-you-thought-you-knew-me:yoooooo Dude. i take back every bad thing ive ever said about baseball this is some fucking beat shit SHHHEEIIT CHEESUS
I said a while back that if Trump won, the amount of salt on the Internet would reach insane levels. And I was totally right.AND DON’T YOU GO BLAMIN’ ME FOR VOTING FOR GOOD OL’ CHUCK, I’M NOT 200.000 PEOPLEEither way, I’ve got a lot of thoughts
victoria-mother: Yes sweetie, mommy knows how much your comic books are worth. Maybe you should have thought about that before you said “no” earlier. Good daughters obey their mommies, bad ones get punished. So lie down on your back and mommy
villainouscenobite: Remember those magic words you said on your “special” day? Love, honor, and obey? You thought your life was going to be so perfect, your own little fairy tale complete with your happily ever after. Well, this isn’t a fairy tale,
sateenkaari: “Come with me,” he said and erased it from his mind“be with me now,” but of love we are frightened stiffWe’d rather leave and head for the skiesthan say all the right words too soon“And I never thought you wouldBut always knew
midnightecchioverdrive: *lays bear traps on ground* this is what i thought of when you said “Modern” lorryenjoy and be careful where you step. she is getting smarter~~Wolfie
black-nata: “I mean, I was just telling the truth, you know. I asked Clark Gregg where a nice place to eat was and he said Chili’s and I went to Chili’s and I thought it was just this one restaurant. I didn’t realize there were ten thousand
xxxsilentxsorrowxxx: “A lot of people just look and see skin color. I’ve actually had people ask me was I Black or was I White first. A White gentleman came up to me and said ‘I thought you might be White, but then I saw your lips.’ One girl
callmeawhore247-deactivated2021:83bondage:Wait I thought it was just going to be you…omg you said there are 25 more men waiting for a turn…..yes sir I’ll shut up and do what I’m told..
dxrekhxle: once in the fifth grade this kid called me a homo and i thought it meant homeless and i was so confused i said ‘jeremy you’ve been to my house’ I also used to get homo and hobo confused
ckold: Same guy from July. It was a Friday night and the kids each stayed overnight with friends. I came home from work and found them in our bed. She had our camera on the dresser and with a smile on her face said “Hi Honey. I thought you
