waltisgay: if you give me a task with no deadline i will literally never do it but if you give me a deadline i will get it done exactly 1 hour before the deadline even if the deadline is in six years : NSFW Tumblr

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clraft: when i say “the other day” i could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between

if ellen was president of the world there would be no wars only dancing

beeyondce: sometimes i feel as useless as the ueue in queue

food-vacuum: I can’t hear you I’m eating chips

nishlo: parents want u to be outgoing and do fun stuff with friends but also want you home by 11 and not high on meth like c’mon on mom u cant have it all

lordoftheinternet: i’m glad the shit that lives in the ocean lacks the ability to leave the ocean because most of it is scary as fuck

charlamagnethagod: I asked myself out and I said no