aquus: before you have sex with me you have to earn it take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to : NSFW Tumblr

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snorlaxatives: the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”

turnipsalad: I THOUGHT I HAD A FAVOURITE INFOMERCIAL GIF BUT I THINK I HAVE FOUND A NEW FAVOURITE

princass: life is tough when you’re a lazy perfectionist who simultaneously doesn’t give a shit about anything but at the same time cares too much about everything u feel

vegay: yes hello i would like to apply to be in a coma

chefboyardeezie: if you’re gonna spend 赨 on uggs why would you get fucking pink ones

egberts: i told my grandma i have a popular blog and she thinks i write professional reviews of food and movies

stinkyminaj: *trips on acid* *apologizes to acid*

hungarian: sometimes i wish i could have my current knowledge back in kindergarten & shock all my teachers by doing some calculus

adambloghart: artaeologist: there are five frogs staring at me right now but only one can be america’s next top model