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unclefather:bastardcircus:bastardcircus:Ok, God, I am fucking wheezing, I got trained to work with mice today since I’ll need them for some experiments and the guy who trained me was like, “Yeah ok so if there’s a day where you just absolutely cannot

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hustlerose:peanotbotter:It’s 2028. Your husband comes up and punches your throat as you’re unplugging the crockpot full of poison dip, your friends have turned the haunted basement into a deathmatch tournament, the kids are

hustlerose:peanotbotter:It’s 2028. Your husband comes up and punches your throat as you’re unplugging the crockpot full of poison dip, your friends have turned the haunted basement into a deathmatch tournament, the kids are

himfluenza:himfluenza:himfluenza:himfluenza:Bread Instagram is INSANEHOW ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THIS!!! HOW ARE YOU CELEBRATING. YOUR BREAD IS MISSING ITS BREAD!!!!! YOUR BREAD HAS NO BREAD IN YOUR BREAD!!!! This guy says it has a “light and airy crumb”

himfluenza:himfluenza:himfluenza:himfluenza:Bread Instagram is INSANEHOW ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THIS!!! HOW ARE YOU CELEBRATING. YOUR BREAD IS MISSING ITS BREAD!!!!! YOUR BREAD HAS NO BREAD IN YOUR BREAD!!!! This guy says it has a “light and airy crumb”

phantomrose96:As someone who does not pay attention to lyrics in songs, I am always afraid someone who does pay attention is going to come along and see my music and be like “why are you listening to songs about kicking orphans and diverting funds

phantomrose96:As someone who does not pay attention to lyrics in songs, I am always afraid someone who does pay attention is going to come along and see my music and be like “why are you listening to songs about kicking orphans and diverting funds

mistermooneyes:this came to me in the early hours of the night and i had to make it

mistermooneyes:this came to me in the early hours of the night and i had to make it

loafed-beans: danecooknarutoamv: me: yeah so this pedo was caught with a 16 year old – middle aged man: thats not pedophilia, thats technically ephebophilia, there’s a difference me:

loafed-beans: danecooknarutoamv: me: yeah so this pedo was caught with a 16 year old – middle aged man: thats not pedophilia, thats technically ephebophilia, there’s a difference me:

gomjabbar:in elementary school when we were given activity sheets to fill out in the morning i used to “upgrade” all the cutesy animal drawings with cyborg jets and claws and would draw blood dribbling down their mouths with crayon and one time my

gomjabbar:in elementary school when we were given activity sheets to fill out in the morning i used to “upgrade” all the cutesy animal drawings with cyborg jets and claws and would draw blood dribbling down their mouths with crayon and one time my

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what's popping?

rnavka:imlizy:rnavka:maamlet:imlizy:having fried sex with my southern wifehaving poutine sex with my canada wifehaving great sex with both your wives we are each others wifes idiot well thanks for having me

rnavka:imlizy:rnavka:maamlet:imlizy:having fried sex with my southern wifehaving poutine sex with my canada wifehaving great sex with both your wives we are each others wifes idiot well thanks for having me

glumshoe:beggars-opera:glumshoe:i-am-an-adult-i-swear:glumshoe:tedium is: shopping on behalf of local tax-exempt government when neither you nor the cashier know what you’re doing Good god I feel this deep in my bonesEverybody wants a Tax exempt form

glumshoe:beggars-opera:glumshoe:i-am-an-adult-i-swear:glumshoe:tedium is: shopping on behalf of local tax-exempt government when neither you nor the cashier know what you’re doing Good god I feel this deep in my bonesEverybody wants a Tax exempt form

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