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graynard: graynard:knocked on my ass by a guy in my class named “Brodie Pirtle” i could NEVER make up something that funny

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bogleech: bogleech:When I was little I wanted buttered toast every day but I wanted it cut into triangles and then I wanted butter spread along the edges where it was cut. I don’t know why I thought that made such a difference but for some reason I

bogleech: bogleech:When I was little I wanted buttered toast every day but I wanted it cut into triangles and then I wanted butter spread along the edges where it was cut. I don’t know why I thought that made such a difference but for some reason I

xtec:hoziersgirlfiend:xtec:only reason I want a gf is so I can call her from Victoria’s secret and ask “ayy what size pussy you wear? ”i curse you with terminal no gf disorderOUGH

xtec:hoziersgirlfiend:xtec:only reason I want a gf is so I can call her from Victoria’s secret and ask “ayy what size pussy you wear? ”i curse you with terminal no gf disorderOUGH

orriculum:my roommate is simultaneously trying to calm down before her phone interview and psych herself up so she’s playing the animal crossing music but also striking power poses every few seconds

orriculum:my roommate is simultaneously trying to calm down before her phone interview and psych herself up so she’s playing the animal crossing music but also striking power poses every few seconds

hungwy: powerfrog: powerfrog: i think i would be… a good cult leader Bugs B. Bunny

hungwy: powerfrog: powerfrog: i think i would be… a good cult leader Bugs B. Bunny

teachercrushedd:

teachercrushedd:

Hilarious Humor from Outer Space

Hilarious Humor from Outer Space

aibidil: aibidil: One time I saw this New Yorker cartoon with a piece of penne pasta answering the phone and saying, “Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?” and now I cannot cook fusilli without thinking you crazy bastard

aibidil: aibidil: One time I saw this New Yorker cartoon with a piece of penne pasta answering the phone and saying, “Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?” and now I cannot cook fusilli without thinking you crazy bastard

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