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glumshoe: The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket. “Oh, he’s not

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girlwholovesturtles: writing-prompt-s: You throw your rent bill across the room in frustration, and it lands under your bed. A few seconds later, a claw pushes the bill back out with a wad of cash. Monster under the bed finally paying his fucking rent.

girlwholovesturtles: writing-prompt-s: You throw your rent bill across the room in frustration, and it lands under your bed. A few seconds later, a claw pushes the bill back out with a wad of cash. Monster under the bed finally paying his fucking rent.

evilfriends:idk y but im losing my shit over this

evilfriends:idk y but im losing my shit over this

dearbluetravelers: indigo-night-wisp: kintatsujo: plenoptic07: kintatsujo: Me: I don’t know if I ever want to be pregnant, I’d rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES

dearbluetravelers: indigo-night-wisp: kintatsujo: plenoptic07: kintatsujo: Me: I don’t know if I ever want to be pregnant, I’d rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES

markwatneyandensemble: i was looking for writing prompts and came across what is now the funniest thing ive ever seen

markwatneyandensemble: i was looking for writing prompts and came across what is now the funniest thing ive ever seen

kleptomonkey: nonpathogenics: if u take yr partners name in marriage yr softcore kinning them i dont know what else to say

kleptomonkey: nonpathogenics: if u take yr partners name in marriage yr softcore kinning them i dont know what else to say

truestoriesaboutme: ravenslunas: i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that

truestoriesaboutme: ravenslunas: i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that

taquito: banshees: taquito:wtf are “trojans”??? O_o those guys from greece everyone keep ur dicks away from those poor greece guys then wtf

taquito: banshees: taquito:wtf are “trojans”??? O_o those guys from greece everyone keep ur dicks away from those poor greece guys then wtf

whisqrs:i think that uncrustables being considered a type of ravioli should be highly classified information

whisqrs:i think that uncrustables being considered a type of ravioli should be highly classified information

rnemes: tvspecial: i don’t think aliens exist then wtf do u call this

rnemes: tvspecial: i don’t think aliens exist then wtf do u call this

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