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unclefather: i just heard my mom say “there’s no reason to act like a dick” and there’s no one else downstairs so i know she’s talking to one of our cats

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original: https://berandomness.tumblr.com/post/140185662188

report

iswearimnaked: if ur wondering why i disappeared last night

iswearimnaked: if ur wondering why i disappeared last night

iswearimnaked: well i was gonna be online at 7 but i fucked up my makeup and it takes me two hours to get ready and i have to start over so 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

iswearimnaked: well i was gonna be online at 7 but i fucked up my makeup and it takes me two hours to get ready and i have to start over so 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

iswearimnaked: When you’re getting ready before you get on cam but the house is cold so you gotta put fuzzy pants on over your lingerie

iswearimnaked: When you’re getting ready before you get on cam but the house is cold so you gotta put fuzzy pants on over your lingerie

um

um

iswearimnaked: my top members for feb ✨✨✨

iswearimnaked: my top members for feb ✨✨✨

just-shower-thoughts: By now Louie CK’s kids must have heard all of the crazy mean things he said about them when they were babies.

just-shower-thoughts: By now Louie CK’s kids must have heard all of the crazy mean things he said about them when they were babies.

saltfishandbake: people: omg how are you single???? me *internally*: because i have deeply rooted emotional issues and a debilitating fear that im not good enough for anything me: guess I just haven’t caught my fiSH yet! haha reel one in for me if

saltfishandbake: people: omg how are you single???? me *internally*: because i have deeply rooted emotional issues and a debilitating fear that im not good enough for anything me: guess I just haven’t caught my fiSH yet! haha reel one in for me if

steverogcrs: RIP to the greatest meme of all time. The father of all memes. The Dicaprio meme. (1994-2016)

steverogcrs: RIP to the greatest meme of all time. The father of all memes. The Dicaprio meme. (1994-2016)

saxophone-kraken: Me: *shows my mom a picture of the guy I’ve been talking to* Mom: oh, he’s hot. …oh no, that sounds bad. I just mean he’s cute. Is that weird? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know. Please don’t tell anyone i said

saxophone-kraken: Me: *shows my mom a picture of the guy I’ve been talking to* Mom: oh, he’s hot. …oh no, that sounds bad. I just mean he’s cute. Is that weird? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know. Please don’t tell anyone i said

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